Until The Path Ends
by Sombereyes
Summary: Memories are funny things, lingering even after they should be long gone. They leave behind a legacy. Now, only one woman knows the entire truth, and it is time she passes on the knowledge to a younger generation. As she waits for her days to ebb into nothingness, Shizuru recalls the days of her youth. The love she found, and the gifts she received, just by turning wild. AU. -hold-
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is something I'm writing extremely slowly on the side as a means of escape when I have writers block. It happens often enough. I have no set plans on how, or when I will update, although the story will be some length, I am sure. You'll have to wait patently on this fiction, should you choose to follow it, since it takes time to come up with the chapters for this one. It is so vastly different from my other Shiz/Nat work, that I often sit down to write a scene of this, before working on a chapter from other fictions to post. It sort of breaks up the slow hours glaring at annoying snippets of chapters...you know?

Still, this fiction will be written much slower because it is not a main focus, and honestly, the only reason I'd thought I'd share it is because it is so vastly different. It may or may not be hard to follow, and I honestly have no "intended goal" for this story. It just sort of fits however way it wants. That said, I'm extending the warning to you all now...

The story is sad, but I'd like to think that it'll have a lot of happiness too. Melancholy etches deep in this fiction though, so please, be warned of that. There is character death, a theme that carries the fiction entirely (at least as of now, and the way it is headed) as Shizuru recalls the days of her youth. The love she found, and the gifts she received, just by turning wild.

Shizuru and Natsuki are the main pairing, this is AU, and there is a bit of OOC involved.

I hope you enjoy, even I do not yet know where this path will lead...will you follow it?

Don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

**Chapter 1  
**(Present day)

"Come on grandma!" A small child shouted as she jumped up and down in front of an elderly woman. "You promised you'd tell us a story!" Her eyes shimmered in delight, a wide smile gracing her features. "So tell us already, will you."

"Yes, yes I remember quite well." The old woman smiled softly, patting the little girl on the head. "You wanted to hear a bedtime story. I promised I would oblige you." Then, with gentleness, she turn the child around, facing her back towards the stairs. "Now run along and get to bed, I'll be in shortly. Then, just like I promised, I will tell both you, and your brother a magnificent story."

The small child only nodded, and scurried along, leaving the two adult women in the room. "You know, you don't have to do it. I can go up and read them a book or something." She was busy washing the dishes for the next meal, watching her elderly mother as she held onto her cane. "You look tired, mom."

"I'm merely old Naru." She shook her head, her daughter looked so much like a fond memory. "Besides, they are old enough to know now. It is the story of their grandmothers. It wouldn't do to keep it hushed any further. I should be the one to tell the tale, after all I was the one who lived through it."

Naru, a woman in her middle thirties could only sigh at that. "Papa died so young." Several years before the twins had been born, in fact. "She never got the chance to meet them." That particular truth cut like a knife, Naru doubted the hurt would ever ebb.

"I know, my child. I know." Shizuru sighed, her face had wrinkled in all of her years of life. She had once been a beautiful young woman, but over time, she had grown old. Her story, her memory, one that she loved very much, because the memories of the person were also very important. It took her aging body quite some time to get from one side of the kitchen to the other. "But, your Papa loved you." She whispered, trying to hold back the tears from her eyes. "She loved you so much. If she would have gotten the chance, she would love them too, just as I do."

Naru smiled at that. Her emerald eyes so much like Natsuki's, though the woman was much taller than Natsuki had ever been. "I still find it hard to believe, and at one time, I had been apart of it." Naru sighed, looking back on her childhood, it was wonderful, magical even. "I always used to wonder why she made those growling sounds all the time, even after she stopped loitering around in the woods."

"One of her many interesting qualities." Shizuru nodded, as though the woman of midnight tresses were still alive, still among them, even if it wasn't the truth. "That, and fact she gave birth in the woods. Now that in and of itself is a day I won't ever forget."

"You never told me about that part." Naru said, a blush creeping onto her face as her jet black bangs covered her eyes. "You always promised you'd tell me, but you never have."

"Perhaps, one day, I will hold true, the promise." Just then, the two young children in the house bellowed down the stairs, calling for their grandmother once more. "However, I believe you must wait in line." She nodded to her daughter before making her way to the chairlift at the bottom of the stairs. She had grown old, though she liked to think she did so gracefully. Slowly, the chair went up the stairs, she knew it was faster than climbing them herself. The room for the twins was the first door, and when she entered she noticed both of them, sitting up, waiting for her with rapt attention.

Shizuru took her time to settle herself into the old chair in the corner. It was plush, and she sighed as she let herself rest in it for a minuet, folding her hands in her lap. It was only then, that the little boy spoke up "You said you'd have a story...where's the book?"

"Right here child." She smiled, pointing to her head. "This is a story of wonder, of adventure, and I don't need a book to tell it." She licked her drying lips, her crimson eyes shining a bit as she took a moment to recollect the memories in proper order. "Now then, this was many years ago. When I myself was a young woman, though much has changed since then, I assure you. Back in those days, the hills of Fuka were covered in dense trees, with very little in the way of foot paths." Now though, she knew things were different, it was considered a wildlife sanctuary now. "When I was merely a young woman, we couldn't walk around in the forest, there were animals, big ones. Wolves and bears, creatures many didn't want to go near."

"But we play at the foot of the mountain all the time." The young girl said, looking oddly at her grandmother.

"Yeah, our house is right here at the base of it." The boy nodded, and Shizuru only laughed.

"This home has been in the Fujino family for years." She told them. "My great grandfather owned it, then my grandfather, then my father, and then, myself." She chuckled as their eyes grew with astonishment. "Your mother will own this place too, once I am no longer here." She clapped her hands softly. "But that, as interesting as it may be, isn't part of the story." She cleared her throat, drinking from the bottle of water she kept near her chair every evening. "Anyway, there were animals living in the forest, and my father warned me carefully. He told me I should never to go near there. Still I did anyway..."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

Some people don't believe in magic. They're wound up in the lives of others. In a hurry, under the illusion that if they hurry about their daily routines, that life will become prosperous. It is with such ideals that they press upon the needs and wants of a technological world, one of advancement. They can't seem to understand something so simple as the sun rising in the sky, the beauty of the moon, or even something as simple at the air around them.

I was once, one of those people.

I took things for granted, because I hadn't the need to love every tiny creature. Daily life was easy when you went to school, did your work, and came home, welcomed into a household filled with rules. Growing up, in the manner that I had, that most children do, there is no doubt why. Eventually, over time, you become such a person who looses the true meaning of significance.

You forget what it means to smile over the smallest little things, the times that you won't remember, the days that pass you by.

We accept it as merely that. We do not question the ways of the world, because we are impressed upon by strict rules and regulations. Ones that we must conform, or fail whilst trying. In school, they tell us to be ourselves, and as young adults, we learn we must place on a mask, a professional face. I was like most children who aged in such a system. I simply thought that forgetting those things could be considered completely and utterly normal.

It was the price to grow up...little more than that.

It was what I had always thought, but truthfully, even if I believed that to be so, I think, some place in my heart, I hated thinking that. Sometimes I felt out of place, learning my tasks the way I did. It was for my greater well being, or so he'd constantly tell me. I trained so that I could take over my father's company. I did what he wanted me to do. I was the golden child he wanted me to be. Prim, and proper. I studied the piano and the violin. I took maths, and sciences. I learned martial arts, and took classes in the arts of tea. I did everything a young lady should do, and I did it with the poise expected of me each and every time. New trials of sorts fell upon my shoulders often. I would only cry quietly, in the depth of my room, and I never burst out laughing, as if I hadn't a care in the world.

It wasn't how a young woman should act, after all.

So I didn't act. I didn't play freely as a child. I grew up stern, yet kind. I never imagined I'd have someone come along who'd take my breath away. She did it so easily, looking back, I sometimes wonder if it was fate. I know what people would tell me, if I said that. Very little of it would be kind.

My late father would have shaken his head, telling me I was a difficult child, that I should know better. My late mother would have frowned, told me to stop such wishful thinking. Naru, my wonderful daughter, she would just smile, and say in her soft, melancholic tone _"Maybe."_ Yes, that is indeed what she would say. My grand children would believe it to be true.

Fate.  
Magic.  
Love at first sight.  
Impossible meetings.  
Never endings.  
Happily ever after.

Natsuki...my Natsuki...how I miss you so.

…  
(Past)

Emerald eyes glistened in sadness as she peeked at the small withering petal in the palm of her hand. She had plucked it from the grass, for it had no home in which to return. Mutely, she smiled, her soft, and dainty smile. It may have not seemed like much for some, but the cherry blossom was beautiful in her eyes. Then again, she assumed, everything was beautiful in the eyes of someone such as herself. Nature a passing interest, and a seemingly fond hobby. Still as she closed her eyes and blew a gentle breeze, her wish was something that she knew would never come. She was, after all, alone in her own tiny little world. It wasn't quite so small, she assumed, but she was alone, solitude something she both loved, and found to be stifling on occasion. She was a woman wise beyond her years, but, she also was very awkward around those whom she sought comfort from.

There was no one here, no one but herself.

How long had it been since she first experienced the company of others? It had to have been years ago, when she was just a small child. Those days were fleeting, and now, though an adult she was, she had no idea what to make of anything. She knew her days of warmth were numbered. Winter would be coming, and winters were maddening times. The cold sent a frost over everything, the snow covered the ground, and not even a cricket would keep her company in the night. Their song lost, the howling wind her only true companion. In the distance, she could hear the drumming of paws on the ground, and she smiled as she ran after the sounds that drew near.

She was a woman of the forest, wild emerald pools gave her sight. Her smile, though not as bright as some, gave great waves of joy. Her hair, long an scraggly seemed messy and untamed, much like the owner who kept it. Still, as much as one would gaze at this bipedal woman, one just over five foot something, they could never figure her out. She was not as feral as one would assume. Yet she had no home, no place in which to return. As sad that it would seem, as lonely as it may have felt, the eyes of pity only angered her.

She was not, after all, someone to be looked down upon.

Rather, she was a woman to be admired. At least, that's what a few thought, when they were lucky enough to gaze upon such a creature as she. One both human, and yet, wild. A kind, tender spirit, who could maul you at any time. This girl was still merely that. Now that she was older, she dressed in furs, or nothing at all. She didn't mind being naked, who was there to gaze upon her, after all? "Lobo!" She called as loudly as she could, "Lobo!" repeating it several times as she rushed through the thicket.

The barks and yips of her friends making themselves known in the distance only drove her to run faster as she mimicked the sounds the best she could. They weren't really friends, she assumed. It wasn't like they could speak, not like a human. Still, Natsuki was alone, and had been for quite some time. These animals were her only company, and oddly enough, they did more than tolerated her, they welcomed her. She, a woman who had no family, had no home, except amongst the wildlife that gifted her solace. A wolf pack hid in the thick forest area, their fur already protecting them from the day's chill. They had food, precious nourishment, and Natsuki waited, as she always did, for them to welcome her among them.

She had not been raised by them, not exactly anyway.

However, their protection gifted her warmth, when she had no wood for fire. There had been days, like today, when their food would also be her food. She'd follow them to the river, and lap at the water. Learning to live as they lived, learning to understand them, as they grew to learn her words. She'd even named them, although, she doubted that they understood such a thing. She waited until they ate their fill, and then, she too, dug into the meat, tearing away at it with her fingers, trying to avoid the sharp bones that were sticking out of the deer. She'd eat well tonight, it seemed.

She wordlessly prepared a fire and cooked the bland, tattered meat, a stick her utensil of choice. It was only after she'd eaten that she'd let the fire smolder out. This was her life, as it had been for years, sleeping amongst her animal friends. "We leave, due south soon." She told a old wolf, a thinning, shaggy animal who was missing a few teeth. He merely licked her toes, and she laughed as it tickled. "Cut it out, Lobo." He was the pack leader, she knew that much. It was her friendship with him, that gave her the gifts she'd often receive. Being so high up in the region was dangerous in the winter, and the pack would soon follow their pray away from the high, treacherous surroundings.

She didn't like it down below, there were people, ones steeped in a rich culture that she simply didn't understand. "Near the humans?" The elderly wolf didn't answer. The wolves never answered her the way she wished they would. "Always a long walk." Insanity would be less lonely, even if she knew such a thing wouldn't bode well.

"Don't like them." Complaining she tossed a rock away from her, into a near by tree. "When I was little, I had to stay near." She loved talking to them, regardless. She knew they heard her, at least that much was a comfort. "I could steal, eat, if I was near." She sighed, looking around her family of sorts. The young female at her feet, sleeping soundly made her realize how much she loved them. "They think I was bad kid, and they hated me." Lobo, and the entire pack treated her with more love and kindness. "The city of Fuka...is only place for people who fit in."

That place had once been her home...now it would be a place she'd forever loath.

"I don't want to go this year." There she'd lived with her parents until the fateful day she was left on the side of a large ridge, nothing but water for miles. That's where the car had fell in, and that was where her life as a normal human had ended. She had been just a child back then. Living off the farmers, stealing whatever she could became her way of life. Ironically, they gave her pity instead of beatings. They'd called welfare often, but, Natsuki kept running away. She hadn't wanted a new home, or new parents.

As she got older, she learned more about how to survive and then she began to move away from the city.

She suffered though, in her own small ways. It didn't seem much to her, that she was awkward when she spoke. The animals wouldn't judge her for something so trivial. Bleeding by the light of the moon was a bit difficult, because her garments were lacking, and her blood would flow freely. She hadn't any undergarments, and no one had raised her properly. She only had one set of furs, and though she washed them often, she was normally as dirty as the wolves themselves. Again, it didn't bother her, she had no one to disturb but herself. Every fall, when it neared winter they made the long hike down the mountain. This year it would be the same.

"You didn't like me either at first." She told Lobo, who didn't seem to mind as she played idly with his ear. "All the snarling you did scared me, you know?" At first the wildlife didn't take well to her, as one might expect. However in due time, some types of animals grew used to her, not seeing her as a threat. Among all of the animals, the wolves were likely her favorite, and far less dangerous than some of the others. At first, it was an aggressive tolerance, but as time went on, she grew among them, as what would likely be considered part of the pack. She'd learned to observe signs and sounds, things that told her their meaning.

Lobo's yip was one of pain as he tried to find a soft place to lay. "I'm sorry, winter is harsh." She told him, sadness something she felt so near. "Hurts, doesn't it." She knew that the cold was bothering him, and she took off her top, placing it over his body. "I'm sorry, I can't do more."

Natsuki Kuga may have not been raised by the wolves, but now, she could say she lived among them.

In the spring and summer, they traveled at a leisurely pace, the pack birthing more pups, raising them, and teaching them. In the fall and winter, the harsh realities of the world crept up on them. Natsuki was sure this would likely be Lobo's last year, his last winter. His breathing was heavy, his movements slowing down. In the battles over dominance, mostly at meal times, he was beginning to lose out. She too had also scrapped for her food once or twice before, though, thankfully, not many trifled with her often. "Made a wish today." Natsuki said softly as Lobo rested his head in her lap. "I wished I could meet someone like me. My kind, who just got things, you know?" She knew he couldn't possibly understand...but she wished he could. The stars in the sky were vast and brilliant, the lone huntress felt so small in comparison. "I wish you could be there. That you could follow us, no matter what."

It wasn't going to be the case though. In a normal pack, Lobo would have been left behind, sooner or later. The cold was a concern for all of them, and so was food. Natsuki was the change, she was the key to his survival. She carried him often, though he would snarl when ever she did try to help him. She would bring him food, care for his needs by getting water, she did all she could, staying by his side. The life of the pack carried on though, with or without Natsuki's meddling.

They'd wake up early, before dawn and begin moving. The trek was always slow the first few weeks, seeing as there was no real hurry to get away from the high altitude.

Eating, walking, resting, sleeping.

That was their lives, in a basic nutshell. For some, it may have grown tiresome, but for Natsuki it never was. Their routes were ones she'd followed for years, just like the pack had, she assumed. The route was likely older than she could imagine. Day by day, they got closer to the human territory. Closer to her old home. One she loathed beyond shadows and doubts. The pack stayed in the forests that scattered the region, however, there were long hours at a time when they were out in the open, away from the safety of cover. It always worried her, it would until they reached the safe place.

She felt happiness wave over her when they arrived on the other side of the land. A lush forest awaiting them, where food would be plentiful for the season.

This forest was different though. There were new smells that even Natsuki found odd, cooking food near by, voices not far off. For a few days and nights she ignored them, but as the merriment got more and more boisterous, Natsuki became curious. It wasn't that she wanted to look at the humans, but the den, her home, was near by. It was one of the days she was foraging when she decided to check it out.

"Rand...hey...Rand come here." Another part of the wolf pack. A larger one, with deep dark midnight fur, he was one of the largest males in the pack, and not one to be taken lightly. He was also one of the younger members, so brazen though he may have been, he had taken to Natsuki as if he were a pet. Many of the younger wolves had, in fact. Rand knew her from the day of his birth. "You see that Rand?" She whispered to him as she approached the edge of the trees. "It's a house. There's people in it." He looked at her, making a low growl in anger. "Smell something?" She asked again, getting down on all fours, making a noise the same as him.

People would think of her as odd, she knew, but it was not people she often tried to please. In fact, it was only during the seasons here, that she even heard their voices. There was no one there, she realized after a few moments, calming down. "Let's check it out." Humans always made her confused, she liked the animals better. Still, as she neared the clearing, she was gifted a sight that would be without match.

Natsuki knew what a party looked like, she also knew that was where the noise was stemming from. That wasn't her query, but instead, it was the young woman who began wandering around, a pleasant smile upon her features as she took in the sights and sounds of the wildlife. "Beautiful..." She told the wolf quietly as she continued to watched him snarl. "You don't have to be so mean." She told him, berating him for his attitude. She knew he was being careful though, and she knew the woman was an intruder upon their lands. If Rand had his way, she'd be attacked if she got near the den.

Natsuki didn't want a fight and she ran to catch up with the woman of fawn tresses. The woman had been wearing a yellow dress. A white, fluffy coat draped over her shoulders to keep her warm from the chill. It would offer no protection from the wolves. Not like Natsuki's fur, that smelled like them. Rand continued to growl as he followed, and Natsuki made an angry noise at him before jogging ahead, a low, nearly territorial growl.

Rand stayed in his place.

Natsuki fled towards the woman. "Wouldn't go there." Natsuki told the girl, running ahead, putting her arms out wide where the trees ended. "Dangerous here for someone like you. Go back to building, safer there, with your own kind." She always felt weird around another person. This person seemed even more odd. "What are you staring at woman? I told you, go back."

The woman of fawn tresses couldn't move. She stood there in awe, gazing upon the woman of midnight tresses and shocking green eyes of emerald. They sparkled in rage, yet, the woman didn't seem angry. The feral girl continued peering only at her, as she stood speechless. The girl was strong, her body well toned from years of something, though Shizuru's crimson eyes couldn't understand why. She placed a hand to her face in shock, slowly, unable to do much else. "Do you not understand?" The woman in front of her yelled again, though her mind felt staggered and frozen. "Leave here, or they'll be mad."

"This is my home." Shizuru finally said, pointing to the building not far away. "I belong here, more than you do."

"Not true." Natsuki replied back. "We belong here."

"Who?" Shizuru asked the woman.

"Come..." Natsuki without thoughts, without worries grabbed the woman's hand. Pulling her back into the forest thicket merely a few steps, where there was a small trickle of water, and a pack of wolves on the other side. "We belong here. This is our land, not yours." Natsuki could see her family on the other side. Rand stood in his place, growling and showing his deep yellowing fangs. Lobo also stood on guard, his body week as he struggled to stand his ground. Soon the others in the pack followed. "This is home."

She smiled as she let go of Shizuru's hand. "Stay..." Without fear, without worry, she stepped across the shallow waters, and over to the other side. The wolves seemed to stand around her, as if they considered her apart of them, and she place her hand on the large black beast, calming it with merely her touch, though, he didn't back down. "My home..."

…  
(Present day)

"Wow, grandma!" The young girl spoke. "You really saw the wolves?"

"Yes...I did." Shizuru smiled sadly, though she knew the children didn't know why.

"What did they do?" Another question sprang forth, and Shizuru thought for sure they'd continue to bombard her with them, not that she minded.

"Well, the pack was rather large." Shizuru began, trying her best to explain without telling of the terror she had felt at first. "They stood, glaring at me with golden eyes, and I'd never seen anything like it. They protected each other. She said that it was her place, for her family. Although, I didn't know what the statement meant. The woman was so proud to tell me, to show me such a place. Before then, I just couldn't imagine such a thing happening."

"Was she really pretty?" The young boy asked, turning his head to the side.

"Yes, she was." Shizuru said, though she didn't mask the sadness in her words. "She was stunning, child. Completely and utterly beautiful. A lot like your mother, in many ways. Like you, too." She said to the children, the truth only known among the whispers, mostly things left unsaid.

"Wasn't she afraid of them making so much noise?" The small girl asked again, trying to find out as much as she could about this exotic woman in the tale. "I would have been really scared."

"She was not afraid." Shizuru yawned sightly, covering her mouth with her hand. "She seemed to want me to be impressed, or perhaps fond of such a sight. Sadly, I couldn't be."

"Why? That would have been so cool!" Her grandson's exclamation held merit, Shizuru considered. The sight was indeed beautiful, deadly thought it may have seemed. Even now shew could not forget that encounter, that chance meeting.

…  
(Shizuru POV)

I may not have said it before enough. I may not have always been kind, the way you were, Natsuki. The gift you gave me that day, I'll never forget it.

The way the wolves stood around you, it was magnificent. Looking back, I was mystified by them. Amazed by all of them. The power they had in you, the faith, the unity of it all. In a grand show of strength they howled so loudly, my father actually called me away. He told me the forest was dangerous, and I left, running back to where he was, standing on the grass. His eyes held not even a trace of worry, as he stood there in his suit. He had not seen the animals, but he had indeed heard them. I got scolded later that evening. Told that I wasn't allowed to go back there, that I could be hurt if I did.

Do you know...  
Apart of me almost listened.  
I'm glad that I didn't.  
I remember the days we spent after that.  
I wonder if your spirit does?

What about the wolves that have long since gone away in these lingering years...Rand, the brash rascal, and the way he never seemed to like me. You always called him your baby boy. Raul, his older brother...so calm, with his cold stare. The way he looked upon the world with his endless understanding, peering through cold eyes of icy steel. Tala, now she was an angel even before her death. How many babies did she have? I can't remember. She was always the sweetest wolf I'd ever met. Lobo, the mighty, and very old leader...

He was the first of your family that I had ever met. I remember running his fur through my fingers. He grunted at the feeling, as if he couldn't possibly care. _"He likes you."_ You told me, with a smile on your face, as if nothing could ever take that joy away from you. When he put his head in your lap, you thanked him for understanding. Later that year, he was the first one I'd ever bid farewell. But on that day, one I also remember well, you hadn't fallen to pieces like I thought you would have. Instead, in time that is, you stood stronger than ever before, and your pack did with you...

I really felt as if it was magic Natsuki. It was the first time I'd ever felt like I really belonged anywhere. The pack is still strong, and I still see them in the forest from time to time. They're not the same pack you remember, but I know, you have your family there with you. Likely, my Natsuki, you're probably running along in the trees, you so loved to do that, after all.

Natsuki that day, when I first met you, I never really knew it would bring me so much joy. I never understood how much love you had to give, and for that, my Natsuki, I'm sorry.

...  
(Present Day)

"So after you met her, what did you do?" The little boy asked as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"I ran home to my father. The wolves made loud noises, and he heard them." Shizuru told her grandson as she reached over for another sip of water. "He had punished me quite a bit. Telling me the forest was dangerous, and that I should not venture in it alone."

"Mom would be upset if we went into the forest alone." The little girl agreed. "We would be in trouble if we left the yard too."

"With good reasons as well." Shizuru told the her. "The forest is indeed beautiful, but it is, as they say, not a safe place to be. There are hidden dangers. You could get lost, or even worse. Some animals are quite unfriendly."

"The wolf woman wasn't in danger, was she?" Shizuru regarded the small boy and the question he'd gifted for her.

"No, perhaps not." At least, not that Shizuru would speak of in front of children. "However, she was different, she was, in a way, very special." She couldn't but help but think of the little boy's name, one that was deeply apart of him. "Tate, do you know what your name means?" She asked him, watching the small glimmer of gold in his eyes light up.

"Yeah!" He shouted excitedly. "It mean wolf."

Shizuru nodded. "Yes. It does, child. It means Stalking Wolf. A name filled with pride, actually." Though, only Shizuru would ever really know why. "My father didn't want me around the forest, but I wasn't in the mood to take heed of his words." Shizuru said as she recalled the following days. "I was inspired by the girl, even if I didn't know her name. I did a dangerous thing, because I wanted to know more."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

You would always wait for me at the edge of the thicket every morning. Dressed in your furs, most of the time. You always leaned into the side of the trees, so that you wouldn't be seen. Sometimes, you'd fall asleep in the large oak tree, the one right outside of my window. You know, I always pretend not to know, because I knew it would embarrass you. You flustered so easily sometimes, it was a bit funny, but mostly, I thought it was cute. Father worked often, so there were many times I was alone, and on my own. I think, if it hadn't been for you, I would have become a very depressed person.

Your eyes were always fixed in a scowl in the early mornings. Even if you weren't angry, you'd always cast harshness upon the world. Sometimes, you wouldn't say a word for several minuets as we would walk quietly. I remember that too, Natsuki. I sometimes wondered what you were thinking under that angry exterior. When we meet again, will you tell me? I've always wanted to know.

Natsuki...

* * *

So, that's the first chapter...I hope you enjoyed it, and the next one will be posted whenever it gets finished...like I said, I'll be doing this one at a relaxed pace, but it will be posted, sooner or later.

Edit as of like an hour after update... fixed a derp on my part... this class is why we do not edit things, and talk with with your cousin at the same time... sorry all... I didn't mean to put the wrong eye color in the wrong spot...

Edit as if 10/26/12012: Fixed spelling errors that I missed the first time around... Sorry, that happens when I don't have a beta..


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all who reviewed, and those to are following this story. I will try my best not to disappoint you all.

To answer a few questions. Shizuru's age is a bit more fluid than anything, at least that's what I believe. I hadn't given much thought on it. That said during "Present day" Shizuru is roughly in her middle sixties or early seventies. In the "Past", when she's interacting with Natsuki she is an adult, fully grown and out of university. That would put her someplace in her early twenties. That said, Natsuki is quite a bit younger. I view her more around the age of sixteen or seventeen. Someone who looks like a grown woman, but is still very young in several ways.

On the topic of Naru, she's in her middle thirties, so as I said, age is a bit ambiguous.

Anyway, with that (possibly confusing) explanation out of the way, on with the fiction! I hope you enjoy the second chapter!

**Chapter 2  
**(Shizuru POV)

You would watch me with your eyes. You seemed like a confused little puppy, Natsuki. Sometimes, I could see you from the window. I know that I acted as if you were never there, however, I thought it would be best. It wouldn't do, after all, being with someone such as you. It wasn't that I disliked you. It wasn't as if I wanted to cast you aside. Rather, my Natsuki, I believe it was because I simply didn't understand you.

Your eyes were so feral as you studied me. I knew you were there, hiding in the bushes, sneaking away from my seemingly insipid gaze. Sometimes, it was as if I had beaten you. I could hear your voice in the distance a lot, calling out words I'd never heard. Now I know they were names, but Natsuki, it frightened me at first. I wanted to look into your eyes and see something else besides this monster, I wanted to understand why sometimes you were covered in dirt, and on occasion blood.

Now I know those answers. I can justify everything now. It was simply the way you lived.

Natsuki...I watched you too, you know. Not in the same ways, surely. I wanted to understand everything about you, and why you seemed so curious about my home. There were times I lured you. I noticed you came at the sounds of my melodies as they wafted out of the open windows. I would watch as you'd take the food I left openly sitting on the tables outside. There were even times you scooped up one of the tiny cubs that would stray near the yard, carrying it away in great haste...

Were you afraid of me, Natsuki?

...  
(Past)

The week passed by slowly as Natsuki watched this human from afar. She hadn't been deeply enthralled at first, Shizuru was after all, a human, just like everyone else. The city was full of them, Natsuki merely had to make a short walk to see the sights of the farm houses. A few more miles after that, she would be in the city. It really was that easy. Still, there was something odd about this house, something Natsuki hadn't been able to figure out. The house had always been there, but the girl had not. In fact, Natsuki had never recalled seeing the woman before. The house belonged to a cranky gentlemen. He always seemed to have a lack of regard for things around him. Natsuki fully expected that she could have lit a fire on his lawn, and it would have taken him weeks to notice it.

She had known him to always been in that house, even back in the days of her youth.

He paid attention to detail, but, it was not nature that he worried about. He was a money hungry man, from what Natsuki could tell of him, during her time in the city. He wanted peace, and often got it when he stayed. Still, as many nights as the lights would be lit with life, there were even more nights the house remained without occupants. It was, what Natsuki assumed the humans called secondary housing. A vacation home of sorts. If this had been the case, which she had assumed log ago, then why was it, she wondered, that this woman seemed never to leave the safety of her property.

Natsuki saw the man leave often, but never the woman, who was far younger.

She was always dressed beautifully, and that hadn't been lost on Natsuki. Her emerald eyes search for the sight often, her eyes seeking to understand this strange person, who insisted, on staying mysterious and elusive. The woman of fawn tresses hadn't given Natsuki the time of day since they first met. For some reason it was eating at her. A loud yawn came from behind Natsuki, and she sat down in the leafy matter under her feet. "The pack hunt?" She asked Rand as he came near her, sitting at her side. It was as if he was telling her the negative. His eyes looking for a moment back across the tiny, shallow river, peering at the sleeping pack. "They need rest." Natsuki told him, petting him as she sat there, leaning on a thick tree, sharp bark poking into her. "We will hunt. Soon."

The wane of the piano came from the building, and Natsuki sighed. "A sad song." She told Rand as he also studied the noise. He was still rather young, and he was far more alert with the new sounds. "Lonely, by herself." As Natsuki said this, the music stopped, as if it hadn't even been playing at all. Rand didn't budge, but she hadn't expected him to care. "You don't like her." She knew something as simple as that. It wasn't uncommon, hatred of humans seemed to be in his blood. "Your dad hated me too. Before your were born." She laughed, though thinking about it, Rand was still pretty young, even if he was fully grown. "I guess it's easy to forget...that some ways, you are still a cub." The creaking of the door made Natsuki jump up from her place, lurching her out of her moment of serenity. "There she is." She told Rand excitedly, playfully arching her back, trying to get a closer look.

Again, Shizuru seemed to ignore her. "Can she not smell?" It was Natsuki's only thought as she left the safety of the trees. She couldn't have guessed a better reason to be ignored. Then again, Natsuki felt the wavering in the pit of gut, knowing well she may not be accepted. Who would, after all, wish to speak to someone such as her. "You, girl..." Natsuki waved at her. "I thought you wouldn't come back." It could have also been fear, and that too, Natsuki would have understood.

It was without hesitation that Shizuru glanced at the woman garbed in little more than a pelt. It was long fur, and mangy at that. "I do have a name you know." Shizuru told her slowly, as she put water into the flower pot. "You can call me Shizuru. My family lives here." She noticed Natsuki seemed to understand her, the deep frown upon her face, something that made the taller woman of fawn hair and crimson eyes pause. "Do you understand?" Shizuru asked slowly. "My name..."

It was a fixation that had her so out of sorts. She was a huntress, she lived among animals, she'd learned to be acutely aware of her surroundings. However, she lacked the ability to follow a conversation. She stood there, keeping an eye on the woman in front of her. The formality, the accent, it sounded a bit different than Natsuki was accustomed to hearing. "You live here, with family?" She had to take her time so that she could fully understand. "So does mine, I with them." Natsuki told her, pointing to the forest.

The only thing Natsuki could pull forth from their current conversation, was that they shared the same territory.

That puzzled her. "You ran away before." Rand wasn't anywhere to be seen and she felt alone. She wished Lobo or one of the other wolves would stand by her side, giving her wordless praise, or quiet encouragement. Still, wolves did not go seeking company in large groups. At least, not the type of company she sought to gain. "They scare you away?" Natsuki had observed other wolves, their interest when seeking out someone for themselves, a mate of their own. It had been her drive for a while, perhaps, a bit too long. "You ran from your territory?"

"They're wild animals." Shizuru told her calmly, looking at Natsuki as though the young woman had completely lost her common sense. "Although, I assume I could be mistaking you for a human." Shizuru hoped the woman was fully comprehending her, but in the back of her mind, she didn't know if that was entirely the case. "You seem to look just as feral as they do." Shizuru stood there for a moment, before setting the watering can down. This girl wanted pleasantries it seemed, yet, she had not yet given a name. "So, tell me, do you have a name?"

"Name?" Natsuki said, searching the girl's eyes for some level of confirmation. "Shizuru." Natsuki repeated pointing at her. "Name is Shizuru."

"Yes that is mine." It was then Shizuru realized what was happening, and she changed her speech pattern. "You don't understand my dialect?" That was likely the culprit, but thankfully, it was also easily enough fixed. "Is this better?" She asked reigning in her thick accent just a bit. Natsuki nodded, a bit dumbfounded. "Wonderful. Now then, I shall ask you again, do you have a name?"

"Doesn't everyone?" She could understand this better, whatever it was the woman was doing, it helped. Though, her voice was not nearly as beautiful, and that troubled her a tiny bit, longing for the sweet melody of Shizuru's voice to come back. "Natsuki, is name. When I was kid, damned brat, and little shit...also my name." Natsuki shrugged at the sad look that produced. "What? I say something wrong?" She wished she could form her words to fit the situation properly, she did know many after all. Still, she was not practiced in conversation, at least, not with others who spoke.

"Who would dare call a child such horrible names?" Shizuru asked softly, anger welling deep in her eyes.

"Kid who steals." Natsuki said bluntly. "People, they don't like that. So, I was on my own, I was called that, a lot."

"Do you have family?" Shizuru asked, and Natsuki pointed in the woods. "No..." Shizuru shook her head, and Natsuki turned her head to the side, missing the point entirely. "No, not them Natsuki. A proper family." Natsuki still looked confused, though a sadness began to show in her emerald eyes. "People, Natsuki." Shizuru said, pointing at herself. "Do you have a family, made of people?"

Natsuki shook her head. "Died." She sighed out a puff of air. "I was little, car went off road. I lived." She smiled then, trying her best not to seem saddened by the memories. "Farmers, and cops tried to give me...new family." She struggled with how best to explain, but her voice wasn't as pained as Shizuru had expected. "I ran away. Stole, did bad things...but, I was okay." A deep growl came from the nearby bushes, and Natsuki simply looked in the direction of the hot tempered wolf. "That's Rand. He's just a big cub, that's all."

"Rand?" Shizuru said softly, still in awe of this girl and her beast. "He's awful big to be considered a pup." Shizuru laughed nervously, backing up just a bit, not wanting to perturb him. "Not a very nice puppy, now is he?"

"No, not a pup." Natsuki told Shizuru. "Cub...the name for a baby, is cub. Pup for a dog, cub for a wolf." He sat down, golden eyes sending daggers at Shizuru as he continued to grumble. Natsuki rolled her eyes, sending a loud, aggressive tone his way. He didn't seem to want to back down, and finally, she scolded him. "Enough!" She barked loudly in the tone, something akin to dog. It seemed as if almost immediately he began making small noises, occasionally letting out a tiny high pitched yip. His ears lowered, as he made himself look as tiny as possible. "Only a cub, see." Natsuki said again. "People, wolves don't like people."

"You're a person too." Shizuru realized the statement sounded a bit offhanded, but she couldn't help but stare at the big, black wolf. His eyes glowing a deep angry golden color. "He could very well tear me to bits. What is he afraid of?"

"Rand still young." Natsuki said. "Not like Lobo, who is wise, who understands ways of world. Rand looks big, but he has lots to learn...the paths, he does not know."

"The paths..." Shizuru repeated, looking back at Natsuki. As she tasted the word that fell from her lips, she couldn't say she understood the implication. "Do you always talk in riddles?"

"Do you not understand?" Natsuki shot back, a smirk on her face. "I was supposed to be stupid one."

Blood red eyes rolled as Shizuru ignored the insult. "You speak very well, having been raised by wolves." Shizuru finally sighed, sitting on the wood of her porch. "Amazingly well in fact." She hadn't expected this woman to speak a single word, let alone to be able to hold some measure of conversation. It was rusty, yes, but the fact was that Natsuki had an understanding of human language, even if she hadn't placed it into practice often.

"I lived near city...a long time." Natsuki said as she recalled the memories. "Heard the humans, I learned what words meant...learned how to speak better. I am not good." Her guard seemed to lower the more and more she talked, and Shizuru wondered why. Was it trust, or something more? She couldn't tell, but she could hear Natsuki slowly become more confident in speaking. "Still, sometimes, words...I feel lost. I can't say...what I...what I want to say. Sky and the grass do better job." Natsuki leaned down next to the nearest flower pot. "Rose, it speaks the color red." She pointed at it. "This ones does. Rose is more pretty then red, sounds nicer. As if it knows...exactly what to say, at just the right time." Natsuki shook her head. "Not good, not like flower."

Shizuru nodded numbly, her eyes looking at the plant that sparked that rather deep, if not childlike view. It was interesting, the words held held merit, a glue among the broken and often battered sentences Natsuki spoke. Shizuru realized she'd been ogling the girl, and the little rosebud, a bit longer than she'd intended on doing. Searching for answers that couldn't be found, she gave up. "You speak perfectly fine, Natsuki." Shizuru said trying to regain composure.

Natsuki still disagreed. "No human can...can do...do it like that." Her brows furrowed, she couldn't think of how to piece her words, it annoyed her, finally, she just let her tongue slip, her annoyance getting the better of her. She mentally damned her language for all and sundry. What would it matter anyway? This woman was clearly not interested or she would be more receptive, and Natsuki felt as if she'd been doing something wrong. "My family can...better. Rand can speak, without words. How he...how Rand can be my friend, even if...he can't talk."

"So would you care to tell me about these 'paths' of yours then?" Shizuru asked, looking at the girl of emerald eyes, trying to figure her out. Shizuru let her crimson eyes burn into Natsuki's fur that she garbed. It was not the pelt of a wolf, and she found herself interested further at the skills Natsuki kept, even if they were not overtly obvious. "Or, would you rather go back to your home. It looks as if he misses his master."

"No..." Natsuki shook her head. "I'm not..."

"Then sit down, tell me about these 'paths' you've been talking about." Shizuru prompted again.

"A wolf follows paths...the seasons make us." Natsuki plopped down on the grass, like she'd been scolded. She didn't know how she could say things correctly. She knew the meaning would be lost. "In the cold, leader moves the pack...better food that way. In the warm, the leader finds shade. In storms, the leader finds protection. The path is our life." Natsuki said, though she found it increasingly harder to speak with this woman. "Humans call it..." She knew the word, she'd heard it before, but she still struggled with it, trying to be sure it was the correct one. "Migration...I think."

"Yes we do." Shizuru said, she wanted to get closer to the girl, and she did so, inch by inch, until they were near. The smell of wilderness was pungent, and Shizuru moved away, the stench was a bit repulsing. "So, you migrate often?" She asked, trying to act as calm as possible.

Natsuki shook her head, the woman didn't understand. "Not like that. It's the paths. Sometimes we walk for hours...others, we walk only a small bit, and lay down in the grass. The paths tell us." Natsuki said, pointing to the forest. "The path says where to go...and when I follow it..." Natsuki sighed, feeling lost. She wanted to share it, to give apart of her precious journey, to impart her wisdom. "I realize, it's a calling. It isn't migration...it's deeper. My heart...it tells me where I must go." Natsuki smiled brightly at Shizuru. "The path, it is life. My life, Rand's life...your life."

Shizuru was speechless. Her lips narrowed a bit, trying to understand the innocent stare that emerald eyes kept giving her. Natsuki didn't look as if she was being perverse, still, there was something there...something Shizuru didn't trust, and she sighed. She wanted to know this girl more, to understand her better, but she was unable. "My father will be home soon." Shizuru told Natsuki, though she didn't want to part ways just yet.

"Your father, he...not like..." She growled upset at herself. She knew she could do better than this. "He doesn't like Rand." Natsuki understood that much, she knew it as soon as Shizuru said the words, it was time for them to go. It was better to hide then get caught. She dared not put her family in danger. "Will you come...to the forest...tomorrow?"

"I will come outside." Shizuru nodded. "However, I can't go into the woods. Your family doesn't like me."

"Afraid of you...yes." Still, Natsuki fount it difficult to get up. She didn't want to leave. "But..." Natsuki grabbed Shizuru's hand, feeling how soft it was, she liked the warmth. "My family...humans kill them, because they are...dangerous. Humans hurt them. The humans are bad. Not my family." Natsuki heard the cried of the wolves echo in the forest, a reminder she'd been gone long enough. She made a loud noise, and Rand did the same. "We have to hunt now...pack is hungry." Natsuki waved as she disappeared.

"Sunrise!" Shizuru yelled, as it seemed to carry on the wind. "I'll be here..."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

I understood you perfectly that day, my Natsuki. You were wise, so much so, I wonder if you even knew half of what you were saying. It fell so freely from your lips, imperfectly, as if you hadn't the mind to think of it. Instead, you just spoke, freely, and without regard for what I may have thought. I could see your struggle, and yet, you pushed through, trying to talk as best as you could. You lacked grace, and poise. In fact, I fully believe you had tumbled around in the dirt before I came outside. You looked as though you had.

If you did, I'm sure you took it as great fun.

I wanted to feel sad for you. I felt like I should cry for you. Still, as I saw you and Rand leave side by side, I knew you were completely okay with your situation. I might have even decided that you were happy that day. Something about you, it was filled with light. You were so beautiful, and your words were more eloquent than you'd ever realize. Nature is a beautiful thing, and you embraced it. As you would always say, nature speaks for us. We have no need for words, but they are nice, aren't they...my Natsuki.

We talked like that for quite a few days, I recall.

I would get up early and dine with my father before he left for his leisurely activities. I would step outside and you'd be there, someplace, hidden in the trees. Sometimes, I wonder if you'd been sleeping there all night, but you'd always say that you hadn't. You'd always insist that you were with your pack. Sometimes though, I think you were merely trying to hide the fact that you loitered around more than you should have.

Thank you, for your kind words...you've no idea how happy they made me, my Natsuki. I may not have trusted you, and I was still a bit worried about you, and your less than tame friends. Still, it was your words that planted the seeds of friendship...things were always that simple for you, weren't they?

* * *

I hope you guys liked that chapter... I've done a once over edit on it...but I will likely have to come back and revise again...that honestly wouldn't surprise me.

Edit as of 10/29/12: Second edit of it done. Yeah, not as bad as I thought it might be, Still pretty depressing though as far as the errors. Meh, what can ya do... they call it drafts for a reasons. Anyway, chapter 3 is being written as we speak, though I have no idea when it will be posted.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: My heart goes out to all who are enduring the hurricane, may you all stay as safe as possible during this trying time. Thank you all who are supporting this fan fiction, and following it. I hope enjoy this chapter. This fiction is honestly starting to really grow on me as far as writing it goes. I've been busy preparing for tomorrow, so that's why updates have been a little sparse all around. It will likely be that way for a bit... lots of family stuff ahead, but you know how that goes. Anyway, please read and review.

I don't own Mai HiME

**Chapter 3  
**(Present day)

"Not much longer, kids." Naru instructed as she peeked into the room. "It's getting late, and you have school tomorrow." Then she looked at her mother, who still sat in the chair, looking just the slightest bit dazed. "You look like you could use some sleep too. Try not to keep them up much longer, please."

"Ignore your mother this once children." Shizuru scoffed just a bit. "Now don't you frown at me, Naru. You're interrupting my wonderful little story." She took such joy at those little lines of annoyance as her daughter scowled. "It may do you well to sit and listen." Shizuru then said, trying to calm her child, knowing her grandchildren were taking great pleasure of such a sight as well. "Why not join us?"

"I've got to finish the laundry." Naru replied before shaking her head. "Mother, I mean it. I want them asleep soon, so don't keep them up. You can always continue another time."

"Yes, yes." Shizuru didn't mind one way or the other. "We've heard you perfectly, now, if you aren't joining, or providing further interruptions, I'll continue."

"Fifteen minuets." Naru called from the hall. "I mean it, no more than that."

Shizuru rolled her eyes before smiling at her grandchildren. They'd been suppressing giggles too. "My friend, the wolf girl...she did that too." Shizuru told them conspiratorially. "She always frowned and grumbled...so huffy she was when she was upset." Shizuru tried to keep her own amusement at bay, as she continued animatedly. "Sometimes, she'd get red and blush at me, especially if I embarrassed her, although, she seemed to do that better herself."

"How?" The young Tate asked.

"A very fine question indeed." She nodded. "However, the answer is a bit difficult to explain. In fact, even if I tried, I doubt you'd really understand it." No, not right now. Perhaps in a few years, they'd come to understand the subtleties of her story, but for now, it remained as it should. A finely woven mystery. "You'll understand on your own, in time of course."

"Awww!" The small girl sighed. "You always say that!"

"Yes, yes, and with good reason." Shizuru nodded as she took in the laughter of the small boy, he took such merriment at his sister's expense. "Now then, you see I wasn't very fond of the woman at the time. She always seemed nice enough, but always so withdrawn too. Sometimes, I wondered if she wanted to be my friend or not. She was always so crabby, and grumbled all the time. One morning, I woke up to an absolute downpour, and Natsuki was sitting outside, near the big oak tree." That tree, ironically enough, still stood proudly in front of Shizuru's bedroom, though it was a bit taller than back then. "She wasn't the least bit amused."

"She wasn't playing in the mud?" Tate asked, though splashing in puddles was his favorite thing to do.

"No, I'm afraid not." Shizuru shook her head. "She wasn't particularly fond of rain, at least, not on such cold mornings."

…  
(Past)

"My oh my, don't you look cranky this morning." Shizuru giggled as a sopping wet, and shivering Natsuki sat under the tree, trying her best to huddle for warmth. "Don't like rain?"

"Cold." She growled. "Hate cold...wet...dumb rain." She shook her hair out as it flung everywhere, droplets of water flying haphazardly in every direction. "No room in the den." She said while shivering under the tree. "Rand's butt clogged door. Couldn't get in."

"Well that is quite the little pickle, isn't it?" Shizuru gave Natsuki the umbrella she was holding, happy she was safely away from the downpour. "Why not come inside. We have a nice warm fire going, and my father is gone for the day."

"Nope." Natsuki shook her head, still sitting in the wet grass. "Human's place, not my place."

Shizuru smiled softly, she knew well by now how much Natsuki hated everything having to do with city life. "So you'd rather sit in the rain and be cold, not to mention soaked to the bone." The elements were harsh things on human bodies, and Shizuru wondered how much Natsuki had to adapt to her environment on a daily basis. "At least you should come and have something to eat." Shizuru offered again. "We do have some wonderful meat inside, I'd be happy to cook for you."

"I will hunt." Natsuki told her, looking up at the leaves that hung over here, cursing none too gently when a drop landed in her eye. "Later." She amended, rubbing her face free of the cold moisture. "After sky stops dripping."

Shizuru sighed then, regarding Natsuki sternly. "You'll get sick out here like that."

"Might." Natsuki nodded, though she didn't seemed bothered by that. "If I do, path will guide me."

"There you go again." Shizuru was exasperated by the excuse. "Why do you have such faith in that, Natsuki? You don't have to be alone, yet you choose to be so difficult, I wonder why I even try to speak with you." The wolf girl was still such a mystery, always so guarded, and yet so open, Shizuru never knew what to do with her. "If you get sick, it'll serve you right, you do realize this, correct?"

"It is the path." Natsuki shrugged then, not seeming to mind as she looked at Shizuru deep red eyes. "You...you follow paths too." Natsuki said softly, trying her best to convey the feelings. "Different...but still a path...you must, you can't leave the path. It is chosen. You must walk path."

"You are suddenly an expert in my life now?" Shizuru said, raising her eyebrow at that. "And just how, pray tell, did you come to that conclusion." She crossed her arms, looking only slightly less angry than she felt.

"Path..." Natsuki told her. "Your path tells you, and you follow." Natsuki knew what she wanted to say, but she knew Shizuru hadn't wanted to hear it. "He tells you, and you do as he says." Natsuki had meant Shizuru's father, and her emerald eyes could see Shizuru's understanding on the topic at hand. "Yet, your path does not like me, you found new path. You follow path, because new path call you. You follow where path leads." Natsuki shrugged again, and simply closed her eyes, leaning on the tree, letting the rough bark press into her fur covered back. "It is the way, the paths work. Heart tells you path...it calls the path."

Shizuru softened then, but she didn't say anything. Merely, she stood as the rain kept falling, soaking into the ground, watching as the young woman before her didn't shield herself from the cold world. Natsuki was merely waiting, as she said before. Just waiting for the rain to stop. Natsuki's eyes didn't open, didn't regard Shizuru as she sat there, idly passing the time. "You look calm...but...have not learned paths." Natsuki said then. "Path says, I must wait."

"You're an odd one." Shizuru told her, before leaving Natsuki, retreating into her house for warmth.

…  
(Shizuru POV)

We talked like that for quite a few days, I recall.

We seemed to be surrounded in this type of fierce intensity. You would not get near me, and I would never approach you directly. Yet, even if I feared that you were angry, your eyes were always kind. I often wondered what you saw when you looked at me. Sometimes, there was a twinkle within. One that made me wonder if you found me more than simply a passing interest. There were other times, often times actually, when you seemed annoyed with me, even if you were in my yard. We couldn't seem to find an easy balance. I often wondered why you'd become so kind, only to push me away.

Perhaps I just couldn't read you. Yes, I do believe that was the root cause.

Father left to go to a new country, as he was accustom to doing. It was for his work, of course, and I was left alone. I think I have him to thank, Natsuki. It was because he was gone, because of my loneliness, that I sought you out more. I wasn't used to living alone, and unlike you, I couldn't enjoy the silence that would fall over my home at night. At first, we spoke in short bursts. A few moments here, a few more there. Though, time petered on for me, with no one to keep me company. That's when we began to spend long afternoons in my back yard, sitting in the grass, merely talking.

There was no one there to disturb us. I hadn't even a maid, purely because I hadn't wanted one. Why I wanted things that way, I don't remember exactly. I believe in my heart though, it was because of you. I wanted you to have the freedom to come and go as freely as you wished, you were always such a person. Even when you had our daughter, you'd leave for days on end, sometimes with her, and others without, spending time with the pack. You were always a free spirit, you wouldn't allow it any other way...

Do you have that same freedom now, my Natsuki?

…  
(Past)

"He left?" Natsuki asked, feeling a great sadness in her eyes at the words. "Gone?" It almost looked as she had been slapped. "Why leave, he has you!" Natsuki demanded it, as if she owned the world. "You are enough, he should stay, with family." She was beginning to get used to talking as the days edged by. Her words were not as difficult to come by, but it was still a chore on occasion. "Leaving family, humans do that...when humans do, they're bad."

"Only for work." Shizuru said softly. "He will be back, although that could be weeks or even months from now. My father, he has always been very busy." She'd been sent away to go to school, even as a child. This was her first time being in a place on her own, and she fully intended on staying here, at the family vacation home. She fancied the calm, peaceful surrender, she found here that made her at ease. Her father, though not amused with the idea, didn't decline her wishes. "He will be sending family to check in."

"That won't do." Natsuki shook her head. "Human family doesn't leave others." Natsuki said as if it were the perfect answer. Likely the only one she'd known. "Come to the forest with me. Come, stay with me, meet my family."

"Natsuki...I really shouldn't." Shizuru told her, although she knew the girl had desperately wanted her to go. "I should stay here where it is much safer." The growling, angry Rand was still fresh in her mind. He made a point to remind her of his constant trepidation daily. "You and I can enjoy ourselves, without our family here." In fact, that seemed extremely tempting the more Shizuru though about it.

"Nothing dangerous about the forest." Natsuki giggled a little bit, looking at Shizuru. "Funny. Thinking the forest...bad place, when it is nothing...only beautiful."

"Beautiful things can be dangerous, Natsuki." Shizuru told her, though she doubted the girl believed her, as she looked into the shimmering eyes of emerald wonder. "They aren't safe, even if they do look lovely. That's just how some things are."

"If you won't go to family, I will bring family to you." Natsuki said with a confidant smile. "It is my wish."

"No Natsuki, I really must decline." Shizuru said again, and that's when Natsuki's smile fell, broken and confused. "We aren't the same, and I don't belong with them. I belong here, with people."

"No people here." Natsuki finally said back, feeling sorry for the woman who could never possibly understand the wilderness. "People gone, left you. Humans, abandoned you." Natsuki let out a shaky sigh then, and she wondered why she felt so strongly about this. "Humans did that, not wolves." Natsuki looked over to the trees, her lip worrying between her teeth. "It is my wish." She said again. "My wish, Shizuru."

Shizuru hated seeing that pain. The deeply seeded anguish in Natsuki's eyes pained her. She didn't want to gaze further on such a depressing, lonely sight. "They will not hurt me?" Shizuru doubted that. "Rand doesn't like me. They will cast me aside. It would be unsafe, I am not like you."

"Rand not leader." Natsuki told Shizuru, hope back in her eyes. "Not a choice he can make...only Lobo."

"If that's how you feel about it." Shizuru said slowly. "Then I shall meet your family." Even though she agreed, she felt denial prick at the back of her mind, almost sure the pack would not come. They weren't dogs, after all, and Natsuki seemed to have forgotten that. With the encouragement Natsuki needed, she had begun to make ruckus, and a great deal of it. Shizuru doubted that it would work, and partly prayed that it wouldn't.

"Lobo!" Natsuki called, making a few yips and other strange noises. "Lobo!" She called again, making the sound for a few minuets. Shizuru watched what seemed like a futile effort, until something moved from beyond the thicket. At first, it didn't seem like anything, but then, an old wolf appeared. Behind him, the rest of the pack followed. He finally took a seat where the grass met the leaves. Natsuki knew he would not come closer, he had been resting, something he needed more and more of, as of late. "The family comes, when we call." Natsuki said as she went over to her family in a meek manner, stopping just a few short feet away.

She got down on her hands and knees, looking both submissive, yet calm as she went to greet Lobo. She rubbed her cheek on his snout, making small little noises, something near gleeful. Lobo looked ahead, as if he owned the very ground he stood on. A few wolves stayed near him, but several others stayed away, finding better places to be. "This is family." Natsuki said as she greeted the others in the same manner, all accept for Rand, he simply snarled his displeasure. It was then a fight broke out as Lobo, turned his head, snapping that the young upstart, not liking his attitude. Natsuki didn't budge, hardly flinched at all, and simply lavished the old wolf with more attention, nuzzling him, Rand seemed to do the same.

"What are you doing?" Shizuru asked, she hadn't seen this before, and she didn't understand Natsuki's actions.

"Lobo is leader. He is alpha. He tells us path, we listen." She said as she arched her back playfully and he did the same for only a moment before licking her face, and then sitting down again, nice and calmly. "We treat leader with respect...this is our respect..." Then she backed away, pulling Shizuru with her. "Hands and knees." She told the girl. "To be on their level, it is for safety." Natsuki remembered well what happened the first time she had approached Lobo on two legs. Now, he didn't mind, but back then, he had chased her into a cave. "Do as I do." She told her, and crawled back to Lobo, Shizuru by her side. "Rub his face...keep head lower than his...not become taller...do not...upset him if you do."

Natsuki made a few pitiful noises in his direction, trying to prove Shizuru's worth. Rand didn't dare make a sound, and the entire pack grew tense. Shizuru shook as she neared the creature, and Natsuki could tell Lobo sensed Shizuru's fear. Finally, though she was quivering, Shizuru got near enough to feel his breath, atrocious though it was. "Good." Natsuki said, "Now wait for him. He must decide." It took him a few moments in his old age to decide that he felt like doing so, and he held his head up again, not even bothering to look at the person offering her allegiance. "Lobo, he is the leader." Natsuki said as she turned to look at Shizuru. "He is not angry like Rand...he knows what...is not threat...to the family. You are not threat. Lobo will know that, deep in his heart."

What was it about this girl? Shizuru wondered in the midst of panic. What made her wish to commit this insanity? It could not have been merely Natsuki's beauty, but it was also not her wit. Her mind couldn't think, instead, she just moved as Natsuki had done, all the while fearing for her very life. Lobo allowed it, he stood there, not minding at all that she touched him. Natsuki knew, scent played a large role, and Shizuru was all over her, it had mingled over many days. The pack had already known the smell, well before Natsuki's introduction.

The moments seemed like hours, but then, Lobo simply walked away a few feet, not paying any more attention to Natsuki or Shizuru as he went around to stake his claim on a few lesser members of the pack. "It went well..." Natsuki told her, a deep sense of pride in her eyes. "Lobo welcomes you." It was then that Rand began growling at Shizuru, getting closer. She backed away, hiding behind Natsuki. Again, Natsuki simply rolled her eyes. "He is a cub, do not cower." Natsuki stood up on all fours, making a very displeased, and authoritative stance. "Rand!" She snarled, her own teeth bared for the creature in front of her. "No!" Her knuckles dug into the soft dirt, she wasn't playing games with him.

It took him a moment, a very long and tense moment, but then, he stood down, doing to Natsuki as he had once done to Lobo. She ignored him, instead, keeping her eyes on the frightened woman near by. "You do not cower...never to Rand." Natsuki explained, this was her domain too, and as far as she was concerned, Shizuru was her female. "I am strong, you do as I do." She was going to defend her, and teach her. "We bow only to Lobo...and Raul."

"This is ridiculous." Shizuru sighed out, refusing to move as Natsuki had done, she was already shaking. "That's a wild animal."

"You are human." Natsuki shot back, but she wasn't angry. Simply honest. "Both of you...can...hurt. Both of you feel...fear." Rand walked away then, slowly, trying not to anger Natsuki. She looked at the pack, and how Lobo ruled them all. Yes, he was in charge. "Lobo trusts me. He knows...I will not hurt the pack. I would not bring home...bad people. Lobo knows." She tilted her head, looking at a few others, silently asking Shizuru to meet her family. Begging her, perhaps, Shizuru assumed as she moved forward slowly. Every step smaller than the last, her lags shaking in fear, and amazement. Her hands did the same as they neared Lobo again as he relaxed with a few other wolves. "Closer." Natsuki instructed, sitting near his resting, contented form. "Take hold of my hand."

And Shizuru finally did, well away from the wolf, in case he did grow angry. "Lobo won't hurt you." Natsuki said as she put Shizuru's hand on top of his head, forcing her to rub it. Natsuki rubbed his face and Lobo allowed it. "Thank you." She whispered softly to the creature as she let go of Shizuru's hand. "Thank you for understanding." She hugged him as he yawned, his mouth opening wise as he plunked his head down in her lap, giving a small little grunt. "He likes you." She told Shizuru.

"He seems so frail, when I look at him like this." Shizuru said sadly, feeling poorly for the old animal.

"I do not know." Natsuki tried to think. "But he has...had a long life." Natsuki explained as she looked down as his sleeping form. "He was pack leader...when I first started following them. He wasn't very young...even then I think." Natsuki had trouble recalling how long she'd been with the wolves, but it had been for a long time now. Either way, wolves didn't live all that long in the wild, they both knew that. "He is old." She told Shizuru after a few moments. "I will take his place...when the battle for that comes." Natsuki thought then, looking towards her other family members. "If not me...Raul."

"Natsuki, have you ever wanted to just stay here?" Shizuru wondered that. How feral was this woman, how much apart of the wild had she become? "With humans, people who can talk with you? Have you just wanted to be with your own kind?" Natsuki frowned, as if she didn't know what to say, and Shizuru felt guilty immediately. "You don't have to answer, if you don't want to."

"Not that." Natsuki retorted quickly, holing her hands out trying to clear the air, and her foggy mind. "I was thinking." The soft porcelain had still rested atop Lobo's head, and Natsuki found that to be a comfort, more than she cared to admit. "Wolves mate for life...unless one in the pair dies. Then...things change a bit. Some wolves, they do not find a place...they do not ever get a mate...so sometimes they sex...with the unclaimed, young females. They don't become a pair." Natsuki sighed, shaking her head, smiling again, the sadness leaving her eyes. "Wolves are much like humans. Humans do not see that, but the wolves, they do. Lobo understands...even when a human does not."

The was the only fleeting answer Shizuru received in answer about the topic, but she didn't push for further information. "You are an odd one, Natsuki." Shizuru finally said. "I've never met anyone quite like you." How many times has she'd said that recently? She was sure she'd lost count.

"Not met anyone." Natsuki said softly. "Not a human that I liked." Natsuki said as she placed her hands over Shizuru's. "You, I like...and the pack...family...likes."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

Lobo, he liked me...

I had forgotten about the rest of the pack. I didn't even spare them a glance across the yard. My eyes were so focused on that gentle creature who let me touch him. His eyes were a rich golden color, so unlike the huge beast known as Rand. Lobo's eyes were kind, always so filled with love. He almost looked more like a pet dog, than he did a mighty wolf. He was thinning out, I could feel that almost instantly. His breathing was slow. I know you could see the thoughts running through my eyes at the time. You held my hand in yours, a soft serene smile on your face.

Natsuki...tell me, is that why? Was that the reason you urged me to meet your family? Was it for his sake? The beautiful old male that held such feelings in his eyes. The ones you knew he felt in his heart. Did you do it for him? No, you don't need to answer upon the wind. You don't need to say anything, because, I'm sure I know the answer already. I'm grateful I met him.

You always took my breath away with the simple things.

When you told me that you liked me, I knew it was something more. Still, I felt as if it shouldn't be happening. Your voice was so soft and gentle, a slight huskiness, one of contentment. It was perhaps, that afternoon, that my eyes saw for the first time not a sad and lonely creature. Instead Natsuki, you were powerful. As if, in some ways, Lobo had been your father. It was as if I understood your love for him, and the others. His eyes were of knowledge, and unconditional love...it was as if that old, nurturing creature, raised you.

When I looked in your eyes, I saw the untamed passion. Something only seen in the eyes of the wild animals...but, Lobo was gentle, and so too were you, Natsuki. I miss you so much sometimes.

Your words, so simple that they drifted among the air, as if they came from a poet. They gave me comfort when I had none. I miss your strong arms, the ones that held me during the storms, during my fears. Still, as much as I miss all of that, I long for your shadow the most. Even when I didn't see you, I could feel you, your eyes on me, watching over and protecting me. You searched so much for the answers I couldn't give, but you didn't need them. You never asked them, and you seemed contented with simply my actions most of the time.

You really were like a wolf.

You could speak, without making a single sound. Your eyes told me everything. Sometimes, if I stand at the edge of the forest, and close my eyes, if I just let myself go, I can almost hear you. But, you're someplace far away, and I can't reach, no matter how hard I've tried. Desperately, I've tried calling for you, and I simply can't reach you. Or, perhaps, it is you who is unable. Perhaps, you can hear me, but I, for whatever reason, can't hear you respond. Whatever the reason is, I feel that I'm beginning to linger in this world. Your daughter says that I am still young, that I am not nearly as old as I may think.

Still, weariness is something that calls me often. It seemed the strongest when I reflect. Times like now.

The pack has changed, in the many years that have gone by. The wolves you know, the ones you loved, they are at your side. The only one that remains from your time here on earth, is the lone wolf, Duran. He was the last pup ever to be born in your arms, Natsuki. He is the only one without a mate, and he doesn't travel with the pack, he is simply old. I feed him every day, give water, look out for him. Still, one day, I will have to say goodbye, and let his spirit soar on the wind. Through all of it, I will still be here. I will be here, when he is not.

When will you come to get me?

I wonder that often. I pray, actually, that it is soon. There is nothing left in this world. Our daughter is strong, she doesn't need my guidance. Our grandchildren, they will be fine, as the path dictates. All is well, the way it should be, I assume. Now, though, I merely want rest. I want to close my tired eyes, worn out from all the things I've done. I want to be able to dream something that isn't a dream, but instead, a truth. I want to stand with you, run with you, stay with you...

Natsuki...I will go only with you. So please, just come and take my hand, just like you used to do.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, here's chapter 4. I'm going to be buy this month, as I focus a little bit more on original work, and not simply fan fiction...NaNo is this month, so that's what I'll be doing mostly, since I do have something in mind that I'd like to see published...I'm not that quality of writer yet, surely...but, I feel that if I at least complete my own original work, then I can edit the unholy crap out of it, until it is eventually presentable. That said, that's where all be, never mind birthdays, thanksgiving, and all that fun jazz... As we all know, there are still many without power in some areas, and if you happen to have friends or family who are struggling, please continue to give them your unending support.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you all for your constant support.

**Chapter 4  
**(Present day)

"Grandma?" The sound of the little girl tore Shizuru away from her inwardly screaming soul, forcing her to blink, and look at the little girl. She had the brightest smile on her face, as she tossed her pillow in front of her, plopping down upon it. "If Tate's name means Stalking wolf, then, what does my name mean?" She looked so wistful, laying on her tummy like that, kicking her feet behind her. It was as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"Ylva..." Shizuru told her, saying her name with measured grace. "It is a she-wolf name. It has no exact meaning, but it is beautiful." Shizuru said as she smiled, it was such a name when it had been spoken by Natsuki so many years ago. "The names you have are blessed gifts. You can't forget who it was that chose such names." Shizuru could recall that cool afternoon fondly. The sun had been hiding behind the clouds every so often, cooling the air as it gently wafted by.

"Who was it, grandma?" Tate asked, his smile as bright as the sun. "Tell us, who gave us the names."

"I gave you the names that you bear." Shizuru said easily enough. "However, they were not mine to begin with. Someone, very dear to me, told me about them." She gazed down at her watch, squinting at the numbers. "I do believe the story will have to continue another time."

"Don't leave us waiting!" Ylva declared. "Just tell us, really quick, please!"

"Oh, alright." Shizuru sighed then, shaking her head at the little girl. "But then, you'll have to do as your mother wishes, and go to sleep."

…  
(Past)

Natsuki's pack was a rather large one. Shizuru hadn't known that wolves traveled in such large family groups. Still, as the pack rested in the grass of Shizuru's yard, she realized how large they were. Natsuki merely laughed at the question. "The pack has had cubs many times." Natsuki told her. "We grew very large, because the pack is large." In her arms, she held the smallest cub, though, it wasn't quite so little any more. They'd spent their leisure speaking upon the past of the pack.

It was Rand, who'd caught Shizuru's worried glance the most. He was not as harmless as Natsuki made him out to be. Nor, was he as rash as Shizuru assumed. He was careful, judgmental in the way he eyed her. She was not a prize for him, yet seemed as if he could not understand. His eyes were that of a question, though it was not one Shizuru could answer.

Natsuki nodded towards the large male with black fur. The deep, wet coloration on his snout indicated that he'd just came back from eating. At Natsuki's glance, he became docile, although, he was not pleased, that much was clear. "Rand, he does not have a mate." Natsuki said slowly, turning back to look at Shizuru. "The young males of this season, some will stay, others will go...they search of their own family...rather, they should." The life of the pack came easy for Natsuki, but she knew Shizuru struggled to understand them.

Natsuki's eyes always seemed so far away when she spoke. "Rand has stayed for two seasons. He should go, find himself a new home. Instead, he stays." Natsuki snarled at the young brash male, as he growled at Shizuru. He hadn't accepted her, Natsuki wondered if he ever would. "Rand, Raul, and Lobo are the strongest males in this pack. Powerful." She looked at Lobo, who was resting in the grass near them, and then at the small cub who had run off, to scrap playfully with another. "Raul, he will become the leader, if I am not accepted." With wisdom, she said something Shizuru had not thought possible to spill from childlike lips. "Time will ebb on for us, even after Lobo is gone. It is the path in which we live."

She should have known. The teen held eyes that were far older than anyone could possibly imagine. "Natsuki...I'm sorry." There wasn't anything she could say to make the pain in their hearts go away. "This must be so hard on you sometimes." Still, as and it seemed sad to think about, Natsuki merely smiled at her, shaking her head.

"Don't be. The path guides us." It was the truth she'd created to come to terms with everything in her life. Something so simple, and yet profound. "I will never have a mate." Natsuki said then, sadly. "I will never be able to have my own cubs. The mothers seem so at ease, so happy, when a cub is born." She turned then, to look at Shizuru, a small pout on her face. "I will never have a mate, so then, I will never have cubs. It is the price...for living among this family." They weren't her own kind. Still, Natsuki longed for that, someone of her own. A soul that fit hers. "They can have something...I can't."

"If you stayed here, you could." Shizuru told her. "You could have a family all of your own. You're very beautiful, you know." She didn't know what possessed her fingers to entwine themselves into the messy locks of midnight, plucking out the leaves from tangled hair. Natsuki could have anyone she wanted, looking as she did. The contrast of the wilderness upon her soft features, it made her look as if she were a beast with sheep's cloth. Shizuru knew better, and she pulled away. "You could have a mate, if you wanted. Any man would have you, you only need to take a chance." Yes, with a little sprucing up, Natsuki would be quite stunning, many men would be dazzled.

"No." Natsuki said shaking her head. "I do not belong with you. No human would take me...I can't take a human."

Breathing in the scents of pine, dirt, grass, and the wolves, Shizuru sighed shaken. So feral Natsuki was, but yet, so tame. "You are not like the rest of this world. You are so much more than you will ever know." She still couldn't believe these creatures rested in her yard, near her as if she were apart of them. "Not many people have had the chance to see the things you have, or to become apart of them."

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded as she let out a puff of air. "It is the price...that hurts."

"What if you didn't pay a price?" Shizuru asked then. "If you could be with a man, and have children, what would you do?"

Natsuki narrowed her eyes, seeing something unseen as she stared at the blades of grass. "If I had cubs of my own, I would name them with power. My son would be strong. His name Tate, a Stalking Wolf. I would raise him to become pack leader. I would teach him all that I know, of your world and mine." Then, she looked to the older cubs, romping around in the grass as they fought playfully. "If I had a daughter, I would name her, Ylva." There was something silent among the adult wolves, an understanding. "The name is beautiful, and like me, she would choose her place. Maybe, she would want a mate...if she wanted to be with humans." They watched endlessly at the world around them. Taking in the sights that Shizuru couldn't comprehend. "I would let her go."

"You have such stern eyes." Shizuru told Natsuki suddenly. "But you are not like my father, and his eyes are the same. Why do you see so differently?"

"Look at the family." Natsuki said then, a sense of valor in her eyes. "Rand sees the world with hate, he lacks many things. Lobo sees kindness, happiness, that he has lived a long life. Raul, he is cold, but he understands lots. Even as he watches you, he knows you belong." Then, Natsuki looked around her, smiling as she pointed to the gentlest female in the pack. "Tala, new mother, this seasons. Those are her cubs. She eyes you wearily, but I was there when she was born. I held her in my lap. She was covered in blood and sticky stuff, her mother licked her clean. She will trust you, because she trusts me." Natsuki smiled at that. "Not all wolves let me see birth, but Tala's mom...she did."

"Natsuki..." Shizuru sighed, she felt the weight of what Natsuki was saying. "The things you've seen, they're nothing short of magic."

"You could see too." Natsuki told her, as if it were all that simple.

"I can't go with you. I can't possibly live in the forest. I belong here with people, Natsuki. My own kind." Shizuru shook her head, feeling lost. "You don't have-it doesn't mean-" Shizuru couldn't think of the right thing, the right feelings. "You...need to stay too." She said as she looked among the pack. "You could marry a man, and have a family, if only you'd become part of the humans. If you stayed, you could have anything you wanted, I could help you." This young woman deserved that much at least, Shizuru thought.

"I stay." It was abrupt, the thought seemingly lashing out before the owner could reign it in. "Only until the warm comes." Standing with pride, Natsuki then looked to Shizuru. "Then, you shall walk with me."

"Natsuki, you know I can't." Shizuru said, but Natsuki only laughed in response.

"Can..." Came the playful chirp in Natsuki's voice. "If the path tells you."

…  
(Present day)

"Whoa. Did the wolf girl really do that?" Tate asked again, looking at his grandmother with confusion in his eyes.

"Natsuki did, yes. The woman of the wolves." Shizuru said as she stood from her chair. "It is time I go and get ready for bed, and that you do the same." She nodded at them, pat them both on the head, and kissed them goodnight. "Rest." She'd said as her shaky hand turned out the light. She moved slowly through the house. She lived here most of her life here after she returned from boarding school. Sometimes, she cursed her father for sending her away. Perhaps if she had stayed, she would have met Natsuki sooner. Yet, that was not something she could change. As she went into her room, her eyes gazed upon on a picture, the first one they'd ever taken together.

"You okay, mom?" Naru asked as she walked through the door with a laundry basket in hand. "Do you need help getting into your pajamas?"

"No, I'm alright Naru." Shizuru told her, patting the side of the bed. "Come sit for a moment. I would like some company." Naru did as she was told, and Shizuru smiled at her daughter. "They know where their names come from, Naru. They will no doubt ask about her, who she was, and what she was for you." Her hand grabbed that of her daughter's in a comforting way, as her wrinkled thumb ran over the smooth skin. "Will you have an answer for them?"

"I don't like to talk about Papa." Naru sighed, holding back her tears. "If she would have stayed in the city, if she would have seen a doctor, she wouldn't have gotten so ill."

"Natsuki was not the type of person to believe in that." Shizuru told the much younger woman in front of her. "Your Papa...everything she did, she did with strength. She wanted to die in the same way that the others had, you can't blame her for that." Naru did, she hated Natsuki for that, and it pained Shizuru greatly. "Her entire world was vast, she saw more than you and I ever could have, Naru. She understood things, feelings, that others could not. She reached out for those glimmering moments of hope. There were two things she wanted more than anything else in the world. One thing, was to have a mate, the other, was to have a cub...a child of her own." Shizuru didn't stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks, fondly holding dear the memories. "You will never know how precious you were to your Papa."

"Did I do the right thing?" Naru asked cautiously. "Leaving the forest as I did...it must have caused Papa such pain."

"It was your path, Naru." Shizuru nodded then. "She knew, it was your place, your steps. They were not hers to make, they were yours, and your Papa saw you off that day, not with remorse, but with pride. That's just how she was."

"I'm sorry, Mama." Naru sighed then, greatly set at ease, though the past troubled her. "I wish I could have understood her better, like I did when I was little."

"When you were small, you held a childlike innocence." That was they key, Shizuru learned that in time. "In order to understand her, you had to be willing to see the world with impossibilities in mind. After all, your Papa did impossible things. Amazing things. As you grew older, you grew into a world that forced you forget. I believe that may have been my fault. Natsuki would have kept you away from the human lifestyle, if she'd had her way about it."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

Natsuki...when I met you, you weren't all that old. Younger than me, even. Still, you knew more things than I did. You understood the basics of life and death. Acceptance, and willpower. Trial, and error. The difference between impossible, and unwillingness. You could decipher even the most basic of the emotions that stemmed from those things, and could point them out with ease. You knew when stubbornness drove you, and when you had no other choice, and you never felt the need to hide such facts. It was, refreshing, in a way.

It's been over ten years since you died. I still remember that day, as haunting as it was. Is your spirit still in that forest, Natsuki? Are you in the river, swimming freely? Are you in the clouds, smiling down on us? Are you in the wind, when it howls, so cold and mysterious? Are you in the souls of those still living, guiding us, protecting us, from the harshness the world brings?

I never thought it would happen so soon.

Then again, being in the wild does things to the body. We are not captive, we are not protected, so our lifespans tend to shorten, considerably. It is the price you paid for being free. The happiness you had, the things you knew, the joy you gave me, the comfort...I would do it all again. I would live each moment again. We shared so many beautiful times. You made me wild, you set me free. Thank you, for that. For being by my side, always. For holding me, for choosing me.

You did pick me, after all...I wonder why?

…  
(Past)

"Natsuki, wait up!" Shizuru laughed as she ran through the forest after her friend. She was glad that her hiking boots still fit, though they were a bit more snug than she would have liked, her blue jeans already starting to get dirty from all of the rough foliage. The sun was high in the sky, and the day was oddly warm, nearing almost a summertime heat. It was unusual, but still amazing. It was likely the last heat before bitter cold, the weather playing a short trick on them.

"Hurry!" Natsuki called back, joy dancing in her emerald eyes. "You must see!"

"You still haven't told me." She panted, trying to catch her breath as she rested her hands on her knees. "What am I looking for?"

"You'll see." Natsuki said as she grabbed onto Shizuru's soft hand. Natsuki would often wander off for hours at a time, and Shizuru knew this was a route Natsuki took often. They stayed near a trail that kept them well away from the dangers of the thicket, but even so, Natsuki did tend to like to stay as hidden as possible. Shizuru had never looked beyond the trees that littered her property, and she'd never gone through the density, so the other side held a pleasant, yet chilly surprise. "Water...where we swim."

The lake was clear and deep, Shizuru could see the plants that were growing under the water. "It is beautiful, Natsuki."

"Yep." Natsuki hadn't wasted any time removing her fur and walking into the freezing water. The chill didn't bother her, even after she was treading it with her feet, near the middle. "Come with me." Natsuki invited, as she dunked her head under for a few seconds. The shimmering surface rippled hiding her beauty, that of a woman, within the depths. The splashing was sending what little fish there were scattering, hiding for cover.

Natsuki was stunning, so much so, Shizuru could do little more than stand there, as Natsuki playfully swam about, not minding the shallow fall of water that carried the current away from them. Shizuru assumed that's why the water was so clean. Crystal even, as the purity of both the swimmer, and the reflection of Shizuru's lost gaze mingled. "I'll bet it is quite cold in there, wouldn't you agree?"

"Not as cold as the snow above." It always seemed coldest at the high altitudes, when snow would fall at whim. "It sometimes hurts my feet." So badly in fact, there were days, bitter and ugly, that she couldn't leave the shelter of the den. She went through fire often during those times, and rarely, she'd found herself unable to hunt. "This water is warm, yet, cold. Both, as path tells it to be." The warm air of the day helped with that, the sun beating down, offering a wondrous contrast.

"Natsuki." Shizuru breathed as the woman took slow steps out from the pool, droplets of water falling from her body, goose fleshed skin put on display as freely as the light of day would permit. Her long hair cascaded around her like that of a cloak, the tips dancing teasingly upon her, veiling her curves. Each rise and fall of Natsuki's breath seemed like a teasing sigh, as her breasts grew attentive from the cold around them. Even the dark curls of hair that cloaked her womanhood seemed fitting, though untamed. As the woman crept closer, it was all Shizuru could do, she found herself unable to find her voice, though she dearly wanted to.

"Shizuru..." Natsuki fingered the brightly colored cotton of Shizuru's shirt, looking at the older woman with confusion. "Swim with me. You do not have to be...you do not have to swim...as I swim." Natsuki said then, a blush tinging her cheeks. "But please...swim before the fall of winter."

Shizuru nodded slowly. "Give me a moment, if you would please." Natsuki nodded, though oddly, she didn't gaze upon her friend as she returned to the cold water, stirring up footfalls of sand. Shizuru closed her eyes, biting her lip as she slowly let her fingers tug her cotton shirt over her head, letting it fall to the ground. With hesitancy she did the same with her sports bra. She allowed all of her clothing to be left alone in the short grasses that surrounded the lake. Soon her body was as bare as Natsuki's own. Still, she wondered why this young woman found such a place to spend their day. "Are you not afraid of water?" Given Natsuki's past, Shizuru assumed the younger woman would be terrified.

"Why be afraid?" Natsuki said as she watched the tall, slender woman step foot into the freezing waters. "The spirits of my family protect me. Why not be here?" She took the shivering woman into her arms, perhaps unaware of the implications of such an embrace. "The water, it gives life, aids in destruction, welcomes rebirth." She hadn't any idea why those crimson eyes had been gazing upon her with such a stare. "Shizuru?" She liked the feeling of warmth that came from the woman, her breasts softer than Natsuki's own.

"Yes, Natsuki?" Shizuru trembled, her voice a harsh whisper, fully aware of their position.

"If you fear water...you do not have to be." Natsuki said easily, pulling her even closer, letting her wet fingers tangle themselves into deep fawn tresses. "I'm here."

"You've no idea what you're saying..." Shizuru found herself looking into the pools of wise emerald that seemed to pause time, and the world around them at mere whims. "Do you, Natsuki?"

Natsuki nodded. "The truth." She husked out then, a smile upon her face.

Shizuru shook her head then, a soft frown playing on her lips. "No...Natsuki." How could she say what she wanted? This girl, she was innocent. So much so, it made some things hard to understand. "When we're like this, don't you feel something?" Shizuru knew she did, and it went beyond simple friendship, into murky depths that seemed a bit more complicated.

Natsuki shook her head. "Just you."

"That's exactly what I mean." Their bodies melting into the warm embrace, the cold water lapping at them, their breath mingling as emerald met crimson. "Doesn't this make you feel something, Natsuki. Something you've perhaps never felt before?"

"No, Shizuru." Natsuki said again softly. "Just you." Yet, her lips betrayed her words as she spoke into the nape of Shizuru's neck, sending pleasant chills down her spine. "I feel only you."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

You were always such a person, Natsuki.

Kind, and without dishonorable intentions. I admit, back then, I often wondered if you simply weren't interested. You always found ways to place the both of us into such inappropriate positions, yet, in those days, I believe you hadn't the understanding of human relationships. Though, I think, even that day in the lake, you longed for me. I felt as if I needed you by my side. Therefore, I'm sure the heartbeat I felt, I'm sure it called out for me in return. I know if I had done anything back then, it likely would have confused you. Still, even though you acted in purely friendship, it meant so much for me.

That is what the path is, isn't it?

Following your heart, without worry, and without regret. Yes, I believe I've come to understand you well. Although, it is only upon many years of reflection, that your words have truly enlightened me. It makes me wonder if I should have followed you more, back when we were young. My fears, you made them unfounded that day, and I had decided that I'd trust you, blindly if I ever had to. I waited every day for you to visit, because you became the most important person for me, though, I doubt you had been trying to do such a thing.

Perhaps that was why...because you wished it. It was your whim, and not my own.

There were days of course, that the rains would come, and I wouldn't see you. There were times that fog would cloak the ground, and I'd find myself wondering if you were hiding in the shadows. You were always a mystery in some ways, and that is something I'll never forget. I often found that you'd linger in my mind during the times I'd never want you to be there. Mostly, this occurred at the dinner table, where my father and I would take our meals. He didn't visit often, but when he did, I found myself in a struggle. He would watch me, his stern eyes seeing my troubles. He was always looming over me, in such a way, that I found it hard to breath. It was stifling, the way his eyes, filled with emotionless determination kept viewing me, as if I were his prize in which he could use to further his reputation.

A woman of worth, such as myself, must be in condition to breed young worth, who will one day, also continue the legacy.

To marry me off would have undoubtedly done wonders for him, and the idea of a grandchild, something that investors would put stock in. My father, he liked that, the ideas of money, power. He believed the world around him, and it's many means, were only to press him further up the ladder, or in failing such a thing, that he himself would not face the repercussions of the future I lived.

I did not speak of you, Natsuki. At first, it was purely because he was not the type of man to worry about my well being. Not in manners such as having friends. Later, it was because I knew he left me alone so much, he wouldn't take notice of you. My father traveled often, so even when he did come for a visit, it was fleeting at best. He knew little about my heart, or the things I'd wanted. I doubt that he cared either, at least, in most ways. I was his daughter, and he was fond of me, but he also expected a great deal.

Instead of asking me of my wishes, he watched in careful calculation, planning away my entire life, as if it were his to live.

Meanwhile, as if each and every day weren't the fleeting moments I now understand they were, I let them drag on by. Never fully understanding why I didn't cherish such tiny, often insignificant things. I wanted so much to be like you. Your face lit up at the smallest of details. At times, some seemingly unimportant, you would gaze off, seeing something I could not. Finding insight where most people could not look. I wanted that, to be part of something such as that. I wanted you to see me in the distance. I longed for you to seek me out, to be happy...

That idea, well it frightened me quite a bit, actually.

Natsuki, you weren't exactly the best speaker in the world, I'd come to notice that quickly. You had an immense vocabulary, understanding words wasn't the issue. It was merely that you seemed awkward using them. You were the type of person who spoke in circles, riddles, and rhymes. For you, it made sense, but for me, each new thing you told me seemed like a puzzle...one I'd never put together. If that were indeed the case, if that was what you wanted, then you got your wish up until the day you died. As much as I loved you, as often as you'd open your heart to me, the more I realized you were were not speaking my language.

You were not completely human...flesh and blood, yes, perhaps...but there was something more there.

Your family, as you always seemed to call it, they had the same eyes. The same types of expressions, that seemed both clear, and so far away. I had to accept that. I had to understand that I would never speak in your unspoken tongue. That was for you alone, and the family who protected us. The gaze, it never ceased to astound me. It was such a look that one could only see, in order to possibly comprehend it. I wished to see such a look forever.

Yet, forever is not real...is it?


	5. Chapter 5

Generic note for all stories as of 11/5/1012: Hey guys, I had a job interview today, it went well. I have an orientation for this job (retail) on the 13th of this month. This means that updates will start to slow down since my real life will be much more busy with this new job. Anyone who does retail knows the types of craziness that happens when you first start that type of job, and I'll be no acceptation to that rule...I've done it in the past, but that was a long time ago. That said, I will not Hiatus, at all, remotely...but I can't guarantee update speed...just so you all know what's going on.

A/N: I would like to thank everyone for their constant support as we dive deeper into the lives of Shizuru and Natsuki.

**Chapter 5**  
(Shizuru POV)

The world is bound by events that we, as humans cannot control. No matter how much we try, we can never fully overcome the way the world works. Unfortunate events will eventually fall around us us, washing over our souls as the insignificant creatures that we are. Death is apart of that cycle. Though, we may try to deny it, cursing the very idea as it springs forth from our minds, the truth is, we are powerless to escape. It is a disgusting way to think, but on occasion, it is necessary.

I know you never believed in human failures, Natsuki. You loathed the very notion that human could be so weak, so depraved, that they themselves could be lost due to such madness. You often could not understand such trying times that humans found themselves struggling though. For you, life was as simple as the sun in the sky, or the clouds that brought rain. Death, and inadvertently life, were parts of that cycle. To mourn was to forgive, to let go, and to move on. You saw little need in dwelling upon paths that had ended. Instead, you found solace in the new ones that came along.

Perhaps, in your own way, you found the best form of enlightenment.

Questioning god, spirits, even the devil himself...that's what humans do, in order to survive. There nonbelievers, and there are those who follow their faith, feeling as if it is their own personal redemption. As interesting as it may all be, there are times when I find myself lost in those books, wondering if I'd taken the proper beliefs upon my shoulders. I'd heard from many people, however, that there is only one true faith, only one proper faith in which to believe...these people are all from different walks of life. It seemed as though they spouted the chant more so for themselves, than for someone like me.

Regardless of why, or of how, I found I care very little for all that they say.

I believe it was you, my Natsuki, that seemed the most at peace with everything in life. If there is any faith to be had, any truth among any of it, then I firmly believe you found it. You saw it where nobody else could, and unlike scriptures, testaments, praises, and even slander, it was simple. The very idea of your faith was clear cut...there was no mistaking it. You can't translate what you saw, nor interpenetrate it differently. That means, Natsuki, that you found something indisputable, unchangeable, and likely, the tie that binds everything, without question.

The answer a finality.

…  
(Past)

"We run for miles sometimes. The entire pack. Wind flies through our hair." Natsuki told Shizuru excitedly, laying in the grass, looking up at the clouds. "Sometimes, you can hear the rally cries." She was breathless, having just come back from another adventure. "We sing in joy, and in pain. Today, we sang in victory." She nodded to herself, her smile beaming in pride. "We will not hunt again for some time." Then as she thought about it, she turned, giving Shizuru an odd look. "You never walk the paths, do you?"

"No, I haven't." The way Natsuki cocked her head to the side was adorable, and Shizuru smiled a bit inwardly. "I'll bet Natsuki has seen some wonderful things." Sipping on some lemonade, reclining back as she sat on a towel, life couldn't have been more peaceful then on the sunny day. "Do you run often?"

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded. "Whenever Lobo tells us, we run." She looked at the pack around her all gorged from the afternoon's hunt, most of them sleeping in the sunlight. "Sometimes we run for food, sometimes for shelter. We run, because that is how we do things." Looking around, you could never tell that little detail at the moment. "But, they're lazy, sometimes."

"What about Natsuki? Shouldn't she be lazy too?" Shizuru asked her, as she let her fingers run through Tala's fur, the sleeping female was laying between them. "You did hunt, didn't you?"

"The pack did." Natsuki nodded. "Not my turn yet. Lobo and the strong pack members are eating. They do it first. I may be strong, but not as strong as Raul and Lobo." Natsuki stretched as she sat up, shaking her head wildly, flinging her long hair all over the place. "My turn after, if I want one." Natsuki looked at Shizuru for a moment, a blush on her cheeks. "For my kind, you're pretty. Like Tala, in that way. For her kind, she is pretty."

"Tala..." Shizuru laughed as the young female wolf licked her hands, still not fully awake yet. "She is, beautiful indeed." Shizuru sighed happily. "But, I think, that you are more beautiful, Natsuki."

Natsuki simply turned even redder than before, scratching the side of her face, nodding her head down where Tala lay. "She is the youngest daughter of Lobo." Natsuki peered far off into the distance then, as if there was a memory upon the wind. "She looks like her mother, but her mother is no longer here. Lightning struck on our way down the from the heights. Lobo would have been lost too, had I not been carrying him." The smoke that had covered the land was horrific, Natsuki had only seen such a fire a few times in her life, and that had been the first one she'd seen in the dense forest. "Nothing was left but ash. There was nothing we could have done."

The young wolf was a beautiful reddish brown. Her tail shimmering only a little, with hints of white. Her eyes deep blue. She looked nothing like her father, accept perhaps, in her actions. She was so much like him, his kindness. "It must have been horrible." Shizuru said softly, petting the soft fur of the animal slowly, pulling out bits of grass and twigs. "I'm sorry for your loss." When she looked back at Natsuki, she wondered what the woman was thinking about, gazing into the trees, as of there was something magical beyond them.

"The world can only go on, because of loss." Natsuki told Shizuru softly, as she splayed herself across Tala as if the wolf were a pillow. "The world must go on, or it would be gone." She smiled a bit, seeing Shizuru from such an angle was odd for her. "My parents live within me, just as her parents will live within her." Natsuki startled then, shaking her head a little, looking back at Tala, and then gazing at Lobo. "The wolves that have gone too. They still live because I remember them. I want to remember, so that they will always stay with me. Wolves mourn their losses. Losing a mate, is the most painful loss of all."

"It must be." Shizuru agreed softly, looking at Natsuki then, putting her hand over a skinned knee, feeling the dried blood that caked the wound. "I could never imagine the loss of a lover." Natsuki was starting to allow that now...the more simple of touches, especially with her wounds that seemed to accompany every hunt. "I don't know if I would be able to take it." She said, taking a cloth that had fresh clean water, trying to get rid of the dried crimson. "Will he find another lover?"

"Lover?" Natsuki shook her head as she watched the white cloth become stained in pink. "No, not lovers." She wrinkled her nose a bit at the word. She didn't like it. "Mates...for life." Still, there was something in the back of Natsuki's mind, and she looked back at Shizuru. "Lobo had a mate...something I will never have." Still as she said that, she could feel the searching gaze of eyes upon her. "Sometimes, when a mate dies, they will find a new one. Not always...Lobo is old, he will not."

"I see." Shizuru said, taking a bandage and wrapping the wound, knowing well Natsuki would get it dirty again in seconds flat otherwise. "So, even among animals, there's a sense of longing, a void never to be replaced. It seems romantic, in its own way."

"Do you have a mate?" Natsuki asked Shizuru then. "I never see you with one."

"No." Shizuru said all too quickly. "No, I'm afraid that I don't."

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded. "Lonely, without a mate around."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

You've no idea how truthful that is, my Natsuki.

Sure, time goes on slowly. You learn to smile again, after a while. I know, because I smile when I think of you. I don't cry, I don't feel angry like I had before. New life always comes, Natsuki. I am only saddened, that you didn't have the chance to live on. To see the cubs, as you would have called them, birthed from your daughter. It would have made you happy. You would have been proud. I named them for you, in your image, because I know it is what you would have wanted.I've kept my eye on things, as you wished that I would.

Naru's husband is a good man, but he is wealthy, and he forgets much of the things that should be important.

He has yet to attend to Tate's needs as a strong role model. I do not recall the last time they went fishing, played catch, or even just took a walk together without words. Ylva often pants pictures for him, and he does little more than nod in her general direction. The wealthy sometimes forget things like that, I know my father did. They forget the simplicity of love and kindness, work becomes more important, a good education comes before all else. He doesn't understand the things Naru does, she is a wonderful mother. We raised her well, but, I know that you knew that.

Naru is very wise, just like you were.

She never went to school, and yet, she holds more love and kindness than any of those books do. I've taken to helping their children with studies, since clearly their mother can't. Perhaps that was a flaw on my part. I wish I had taught her math and science better, but you always said it wasn't important. I guess it really wasn't but...it would have made her life so much easier. She misses you, and perhaps, holds bitterness towards you...just a little bit. I know why you chose the forest...

It was the very same reason you refused to go to a hospital when you went into labor.

Because life is not meant to begin and end by the aid of others. _"It is the path life takes us on. The path, that we must have faith in." _As you would say. It was because it was the only thing you knew, you trusted in yourself, your will and spirit, to birth a healthy child. You also knew when it was no longer worth fighting against the winds of life, you had faith within the spirit, the path you walked. I know that's why...that's why you accepted your illness with joy and understanding in your heart, even if sadness surrounded you. You were always that type of person, I admired that, always.

Still, it is lonely without you.

No amount of sun can really bring the light back the way it once was. No rain can wash away the sadness of such a feeling. Instead, it is with the gentlest of sighs that I wake up every day, watching the world. All of the vastness I remember in my mind, unlocked, by a person such as you. This house is a cadge, but it is safe and warm. It gives me something you never had, although, looking back, I doubt you really wanted such a place. No, my Natsuki...you liked your freedom...all you wanted, was a person to set free.

I'm glad that person was me.

…  
(Past)

Weeks crept by slowly like that. Natsuki sleeping in the ticket outside, waiting for Shizuru to come out into the sprawling yard. Days spent lazily together, without a care in the world. Sometimes Natsuki would bathe in the cold river water, while Shizuru just gazed on at the beauty before her, thinking it funny. Natsuki thought little of it. Even when ice began to settle in the early morning.

Natsuki's makeshift family was a motley bunch, Shizuru realized quickly as Tala grew fond of her, sometimes even getting near the house, the scent seemingly a welcome one. The cold hearted Rand still lashed out, not amused with Natsuki's companion, often showing his displeasure. Though, he had calmed down a lot, Shizuru had to admit. Lobo was still enjoying the air, calm, and not nearly as bitter cold as the high altitudes would have been.

Still, it was by no means as warm as the day they went swimming, and winter seemed fast approaching.

It was her time spent with the calm beast Raul, that amazed Shizuru the most. His cold and steely eyes often regarded her with a serene gaze. He would never touch her, but he would sit by her side, lay at her feet. Shizuru would watch him too, though when she'd turn away, he would follow quietly, always the watchful protector. It seemed the only times he wasn't at her side, was when Natsuki was around, or when the hunt began. "Do you like her?" Natsuki asked him when Shizuru had gone inside to use the bathroom one cloudy morning. "I do." Natsuki sighed then, the wistful look falling a moment later. "But she is a woman, with her, I would not have cubs." She fell back onto Raul, laying her head on his tummy. "What is better? A mate with cubs, or mate without cubs." He yawned, making a grumbling sound. "Yeah..." She agreed with him, petting his fur.

"How can you possibly understand such a noise." Shizuru laughed mockingly as she returned to the grass Natsuki was resting in. "You are the only person I know who speaks to animals as if they understand."

"They do." The knowing look she gave was becoming a common sight during times like this. "I do understand some of them. They are also like humans...in that way. You do not understand all humans, do you?" Shizuru shook her head the negative. How could she, with so many languages. "Same with wolves." Natsuki said. "Tala, Rand, Lobo...Raul. I understand them, know them. They understand me too."

"What did he say then?" Shizuru queried. "If you don't mind me asking, of course." With interest, she began looking down at her hands that were sitting in her lap, waiting for an answer. They began to turn pink in the chilly air.

"He does not mind you." Natsuki began slowly. "A mate is a mate. He will accept who I pick. He will not tell me that I can't. It isn't his place, it's Lobo's. You were welcomed, so Raul will never turn you away...unless you betray the pack." She thought about that and smiled, perhaps a sad little smile. "The pack smelled you on me, before I even showed you. They think we are...even if we aren't." Natsuki scratched her head a bit, her mind fuzzy as she tried to think of the best thing to say. "It was the only way...to show you..."

"Sounds nice to have such a loving and accepting family." If it was the wistful sigh, or the look of trouble gleaming in her eyes, she didn't know. However, Natsuki saw something that went beyond simple pleasantries. Shizuru had no words she could say to such a gaze, and so, she merely sat there, wondering, for not the first time, what Natsuki was thinking about. "Yes?"

"It is not." Natsuki said after several long minuets. "It doesn't have anything to do with that." Although, Natsuki was unsure of how to explain, she did her best, pulling at what little she knew about families in the 'real world' as Shizuru called it. "It is like a family..." Natsuki shook her head, knowing that wasn't the right answer. "Sorry..." She looked at the brick home, one that she knew would never be meant for someone like her. "Humans know that they can't cast their child aside, or, that child would leave. The child will not visit." She looked back at the wolves, and then back to Shizuru. "But, when a wolf moves on, they do not return. They begin a new path, away from the group. Saying goodbye, it is normal, in a way." Natsuki couldn't help but think of how untrue it would be for Shizuru. "Humans don't. They try their best to hold onto others, even if the human doesn't want to stay."

"That would be awful." Shizuru said, Natsuki's words hitting home. "Saying goodbye, and never seeing someone again. It is a feeling I hate thinking about."

"No." Natsuki said then, sitting up from her place on the grass. "There is pride, sometimes, most times. A wolf can stay, or a wolf can go. Always though, they must continue to live on. Raul, he knows I will not walk, I chose the pack, I picked my home. I could pick to leave, if I wanted, but he knows...I won't. So, because of that, I must find a mate who will go with me. He must accept my mate."

"Natsuki, if I may..." Shizuru began, wondering if she could say things like this, ask questions so personal openly, as if there weren't secretes better left unsaid. "What actually happened? Why live with wolves, of all creatures?"

"Wanted it that way." Natsuki shrugged, though she did have a better answer, it was hard for her to think it, let alone say it. "The forest can be lonely...streets are lonelier. No one cares about a weak human, in your world. In mine, in my home, the wolves learned to like me, to care. Humans, they never did that." Natsuki wondered if she should talk about it, if she should reach into her past that gifted little more than blood and scars. Still, she knew it didn't matter. To talk, or to stay quiet, events couldn't change, not now. "In school, back when my human family was alive, I was teased, beat up. Humans, they do not give love freely. Wolves, they do."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

It was depressing, hearing the things you'd gone through. Yet instead of crying, mourning all that you'd lost in your life, I saw serenity in your eyes. A gentle peace, as if you had accepted such pain long ago. To forsake your own kind, I can't imagine what actually happened. Vague words, simplistic details, that was your strength. You would not speak deeply when I sometimes wished you would. If you were unable, or merely thought it pointless, you'd never say either. It worried me sometimes. Still, I didn't mind. I was okay with with you, and your often silent screams, still, I could see a calling within you.

Perhaps that was why I could never understand you as well as I wished.

Not only because you didn't want to be, but because you could not be. Perhaps it was because you were so different in the first place, so much like the animals you loved, that you, yourself took on a spirit like theirs. Human emotions were not your strong suit. I often wondered how many burdens you carried. Our two worlds never did mingle well, did they?

Although, I assume that even if they did, we would still have faced many of the same trials.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey all! Here's the next chapter, although I'm sure it will be interesting to see your reactions. Thank you for your constant support...and I hope you guys like it. Sadness comes to greet us in this chapter, but, we all have to admit, this should have been expected.

**Chapter 6  
**(Present day)

"Mother, what on earth are you doing out this early?" Naru asked as she watch the woman of dulled fawn tresses sitting not far off from where the trees met the grass. Her perch, a rather large rock that had been smoothed by the years of rain. "You'll catch a cold if you keep this up."

"Perhaps, I wish to be cold." Shizuru said softly, her eyes watching in the distance as she searched for figures that were no longer there. "It is spring, the pacts are moving north before summer heat scorches the grass." Her eyes fell upon the elderly male that sported a collar, and remained always on the premisses, he was unable to do anything else. "Natsuki would be sad if I didn't bid the pack farewell."

"Papa's gone, she has been for years." Naru sighed. "Why keep doing this to yourself? There isn't any point to keep an eye on animals that don't even know you." She watched her mother, the crimson eyes, ones so rare and stunning were beginning to fade as the years gone by. They were no longer as sharp as they had once been. "Duran I understand, but the others?"

"They are his pack." Shizuru said softly. "And at one time, they were yours too, Naru. Don't forget, that is the other side of your family. How could you just let it go so easily?"

"They're just animals." Naru sighed. "At one point, I would have said otherwise, back when I was with them every day. The pack is different now. Duran is the only one left that actually matters."

"And that, my child, is where you and I are different." Shizuru said then, running her fingers through the tresses of her daughter's hair, a look in her eyes spoke of understanding, but she couldn't agree. "If your Papa was still alive, they would matter. If your Papa came back from that clearing, like she always used to do, you'd be running to greet her, and when she went back home, to the tops of the hills, you'd be crying as well. The pack is not all that far removed for you, Naru. It was you who decided to resent them, not me."

"They hardly know you anymore." Naru sighed, worried for her mother more than anything. "They are loving creatures, yes, but they are still wild. Papa isn't here, and the new pack members don't know who you even are. They've moved on, why can't you?"

Shizuru laughed then, and simply shook her head. "Naru, you are Natsuki's daughter, indeed." How often had Naru reminded Shizuru of that fact? The way her eyes burned with the same understanding, the same basic acceptance Shizuru herself never had. "Though you may not understand why, you've always had a gift for seeing and understanding things I couldn't." Why was that? Shizuru only had one guess. "You were raised by both humans and wolves. I was raised only by humans. Humans, sometimes can't forget things. Sometimes, my Naru, they can't forgive the past. You've always taken after your Papa, you think the same way she did all those years ago."

"I don't see how." Naru grumbled crossing her arms, shivering as puffs of air could be seen drifting from her mouth. That only made her huddle more. "Papa and I have very different lives."

"Perhaps, in some ways that is indeed true, however my child, you don't see the same things I do. You lack the gift to have seen such a time. She often felt the same, so much so, that she let me see a side of her once, that I'd never before experienced."

…  
(Past)

One foggy morning, things changed in ways that disturbed the normal peace.

Shizuru could tell something was amiss when the howls were different from the normal sounds. They were far off, mournful. Natsuki's own voice called in the distance, but her cry was very much human, and agonizingly painful to hear. Shizuru went into the woods, just a short way, so that she could get closer, but the pack had moved dens it seemed. There was nothing to do but wait, and so she did, leaning on the bolder that seemed out of place. It had been there since she could remember, but she didn't often go near it. She waited for hours, worried. Listening to the cries that haunted the wind.

Lobo passed away before the sun had risen, deep in the forest where the new den was.

It was Natsuki's doleful expression that gave it away, she had not been followed. At first, she didn't say anything, merely sitting near the bolder, looking blankly at the grass. Shizuru hadn't ever seen such an expression, pensive and distraught...mournful, yet peaceful. She could not understand such a face, tear stained, and yet, unwavering. "I'm sorry, Natsuki." It was all that she could think of to say. The sun was so bright, the sky clear from clouds. On any normal day, laughter would ring in chorus, but today, it seemed to mock them. To laugh in a way only nature could.

"There will be unrest among the pack." It was the first clear statement, one with authority, that Natsuki had ever said. It meant everything, and was very crystal in meaning. It was not a rhyme, nor was it a riddle. "The pack is without an alpha." Natsuki sighed then, wetness in her eyes she could not explain. It blurred her vision. She knew she was crying, but she couldn't understand why. She watched her burning tears fall from her face as they hit the ground below, unsure of what to do. The action of such emotion had been lost on her, and she hadn't done something so weak in a long time. "First it was his mate, and now it is him."

Natsuki had explained particular intricate matters as best as she could. "Raul has taken his place among the male wolves. Still, he does not have a female." Natsuki had told Shizuru of the importance of a mating pair. How it was crucial for survival. "Raul must take a mate, and she will become the female alpha. They will have cubs. They will become strong and the pack will live on." Still even as Natsuki knew this, she couldn't help but feel the weight of everyone fall over her. "Still, they miss Lobo. To submit to Raul, it will take time." She looked at Shizuru softly. "You must wait for me..."

And Shizuru had waited...for several days. Shizuru found it odd that during the week things had changed so greatly. She hadn't seen much of the pack, or Natsuki for that matter as days went by.

Finally, Natsuki had gone to retrieve Shizuru telling her that now was her time to enter the forest. Shizuru knew she couldn't decline. Their walk carried them past a small river, over a few rocky areas, and then, into more dense tress. It was there the body lay, perhaps not as peaceful as Shizuru would have liked, but there he had been, none the less. The wolves had not left his side yet, though the den had been moved a short distance away. Some made noises as they sat near the body. Others stiffed or licked at him. Natsuki merely sat down near a bush, not daring to get close. "Fighting has begun." She said then, unease shaking her voice in melancholy.

Now though, seeing the pain within the pack, it seemed far more difficult than that. Natsuki had said such a thing so calmly, but seeing it, Shizuru knew it couldn't possibly be. Some wolves had scars, others freshly open wounds, Natsuki's legs sported scratched she hadn't had in the days before. The war for dominance was a strong one it seemed. "I could not bring you here, until it was safe." Even then it wasn't, not completely. Some of the wolves eyed Shizuru with discontent, not wanting her to be near, but then Raul stood among them, snapping at the violent reactions, his fangs dripping with drool.

Natsuki smiled sadly, as she regarded Shizuru's worried gaze. "I have never been in a fight for dominance before, but Lobo has always been leader." Natsuki pulled up the furs that normally covered her legs well. "I'm one of them, so, I'm not safe from the fighting."

"Are those from Raul?" Shizuru asked then, her eyes on the bloody gashes, they had scabbed over, but they were dirty.

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded. "Raul is not as ruthless as Lobo." She'd seen the old one fight in his younger years. "When someone challenged, Lobo fought, when he was old, few challenged. Raul has to prove himself, but I do not cower the same ways they do. I can try, but it does not always work. Raul knows though, but some of the other wolves...don't like me." Shizuru had noticed that. Natsuki did tend to stay away from some of the more aggressive ones. She'd never said why, but Shizuru suspected it was self preservation more than anything.

"Are you going to be alright?" Shizuru asked then, her hands trembling from both the cold morning air, and the sight before her. "Perhaps we should take you to a doctor. You may have rabies."

"I do not." Natsuki sighed then, looking at the wolf in front of her. "Raul has not gone mad." Natsuki shook her head, trying to block out an old, but aggravating image. "Wolves who have it, they go mad. Raul does not have it. So, I do not." Natsuki could tell Shizuru hadn't believed her, and simply sighed. "I have lived among them for many years, if I am to die maddened by illness, I do. The pack would outcast me, and I would be alone to die. It is that easy."

"There are medicines to stop that, I hope you realize." Shizuru told Natsuki. "Why take the chance when it can be stopped?"

"What chance?" Natsuki said again giving Shizuru a stern look. "I have been bitten, scratched, many things, many times." Still, she looked back at Raul, and then she looked at her wounds. "It is my path." Natsuki said, trying her best to get Shizuru to understand. "My _path_, Shizuru."

"Why were you fighting in the first place?" Natsuki was always generally pretty submissive, and even when she wasn't, she was always near the strong leaders who favored her. There weren't many who would try to anger Raul, let alone attack him. "You aren't a wolf, not really."

"They are aggressive." Natsuki pointed to some unfamiliar wolves at the end of the clearing. They mourned too, but Shizuru could see they were not docile creatures. "Raul must make everyone submit to him, even me." Natsuki couldn't be bothered by her wounds, and it drove Shizuru nuts with worry. "In time, you will see I am fine. That the pack will be fine."

It took weeks...

…  
(Present day)

"Papa couldn't have." Naru sighed, she'd never known why those scars had been there. "They would have been infected."

"I had faith, but only because I was forced into it. Natsuki was correct in her assumptions, she did not have rabies. For that, I was thankful. Honestly, I stayed paranoid about it for quite awhile." Shizuru told her daughter as they still sat outside, though the sun was beginning to warm them. "I kept waiting for the signs and symptoms, but they never came. I tried my hardest to force her to let me clean out the scrapes, put on bandages...she just wouldn't let me." Shizuru never really knew why either. "She'd let me clean her cuts if it had to do with hunting, but fighting, she said it was different. It was almost as if she wanted to have those scars everywhere."

"How long were you and Papa like that?" Naru asked suddenly. She never really forced her way into the past much, but that had been a lingering question of hers. "Friends, and not lovers."

"That is a very obscure line, Naru." Shizuru thought about that a bit. "You see, wolves tend to mate for their entire lives, unless, of course something changes. Some of the mated couples went through quite the courtship process." Shizuru thought about that more and more as well upon her reflections. "I have a theory, although, I have no possible way to confirm it, mind you." She wanted to believe it, in the depth of her heart, but she would never really know. "I would like to think that your Papa, thinking and acting as wolves do, had already started such a task without my knowing it. Purely by speaking with me, in her mind, I was a possible mate."

"And you knew you were gay, even then?" Naru rose her eyebrow at her mother. "Really, and that didn't bug you?"

"Oh, don't be fooled. It did very much bother me." Shizuru interjected, recalling well her inward battles about that particular situation. "However, that was because I was a bit naive. You see, Natsuki had a possessive streak about her. I guess that was one thing about living with wolves. Anything and everything she deemed hers, she fought to protect, even when, dare I say that something or someone was me." Shizuru shook her head, thinking about all of the times she'd have to beg Natsuki to to get into a war with Rand. The two of them bickered in nonsensical growling constantly, she remembered well.

"Papa didn't like people coming near me." Naru nodded. "Or some of the wolves." She could remember those days well. "Was she always like that?"

"Likely, she was." Shizuru agreed. "However, I think it was more the situation that sparked Natsuki's aggravation. You see, a cousin of mine came to check in on me, and Natsuki was none too pleased when she'd come to visit me near the house one afternoon. It was then, I think, when I began to realize that her feelings were not strictly platonic. Before then, I was confused about it, but had merely shrugged it off...that day however, she made it quite clear that she was not a fan of anyone meandering around my home."

"She didn't beat him did she?" Knowing very well her Papa was fiercely loyal, and that could have been a possibility.

"Actually, quite the contrary." Shizuru smiled then. "It frightened me at first, but now I look back, and it makes me so happy. As if my theory really is true."

…  
(Past)

Things began to get back to normal for some. Not all, but some. Natsuki's eyes had returned to their usual look, calm and ever seeing the unseen. Always knowing the unknown. Still her eyes burned with something under the surface, the guarded veil something Shizuru couldn't begin to understand. It was a thoughtful gaze, Shizuru knew that, but even so, whatever was on her mind seemed to trouble Natsuki. "Humans, they heat more often then wolves." Natsuki said pensively. "When do you heat?" Finally, a question.

"Once a month, like most women I assume." Shizuru shrugged. Natsuki really was such a person to lack social correctness, even going so far as to ask rather personal questions. She hadn't any idea it wasn't considered normal among friends. "Although, I don't particularly ask people about their period cycles." Then as if an answer for something came to mind, she smiled a bit. "Is that what's going on?"

Natsuki nodded. "That's what humans call it." As if a light when off in her head she laughed at her own forgetfulness. She had known that, at one point in her life. "Once a month hmm?" Natsuki thought about that. "I follow the moon, best thing I have. You notice little things like that come often, like the moon. That's how I tell." Then she sighed, stretching out on the grass. "Is my scent bad, do I need to wash again?"

"You've bathed three times today, although that does explain some things." Shizuru told Natsuki. There had been a heady metallic smell in the air, and Natsuki had explained why perfectly, without trying. Natsuki didn't wear underwear, and Shizuru shook her head at the fact of the situation. "You are really strange sometimes you know that?"

"And you aren't?" Natsuki told her. "Shizuru, you have not taken a mate. That is not good." It was this conversation again, but this time it was far more dire, something she seemed threatened by. "There is a male." Her eyes burned at the man of jet black tresses that had began to come around Shizuru's home often. "He should not be here."

"He's my cousin, Natsuki." He had come to visit often in the weeks after Lobo's passing, and Natsuki had not yet met the man. "His name is Reito. I would like for you to meet him, actually."

"He should leave." Natsuki growled low in her throat. It was an angry pitch, and Natsuki was never angry, never at her. "He will not come near you, do you understand?"

"He's my cousin." Shizuru said softly again, putting her hands on Natsuki's shoulder. "He is not a threat."

"He could." Natsuki told her, her voice harsh, her eyes glowering. "He will not come. You are _mine_."

"Natsuki, are you okay?" Shizuru became worried quickly, she'd never seen such a level of protectiveness, and, something else. Then, she licked her lips, and sighed at the conclusion she'd come across. "Natsuki, you don't think Reito will..." She trailed off, it was odd to think about. He was her cousin, and there would be no way he would even think about it, let alone try it. "Do you think he will try and mate me?" She was confused by the thought, but when Natsuki nodded Shizuru merely let out a breath of annoyance. "Natsuki, Reito is family."

"Wolves do it." Natsuki told her. "All the time...so do bad humans."

"Humans don't normally do that." Shizuru told her, forcing Natsuki to look her in the eye. "Besides that Reito is...already mated." Shizuru told Natsuki. "Married, the human form of mated."

That seemed to appease Natsuki, and she calmed down though her eyes didn't leave the house. "Would you like to meet him?"

…  
(Shizuru POV)

I had never seen you angry in your entire life, Natsuki.

Reito was the cause of many bad, and many good things in our shared life together, and I am regretful that he did such a thing. Although, you went along with it, so I guess it is no fault of mine. Still, perhaps if you were a bit more wise, a bit more accepting of the world around you, the human side of things anyway, perhaps you would have told the man otherwise. I'm glad you met him. Perhaps, the way fate twisted itself around our fingers in such a manner, is why I have no qualms in feeling the way I do. The reason that I still loved you back then, despite the pain.

Perhaps, that is why, my Natsuki that I still love you now.

You never wanted to tell Naru how she came to be, and all of this time I have kept quiet. However, it would be sad Natsuki, if she didn't know. You raised her well. You were a better, stronger parent than I, on many occasions. You gave her joy, laughter, protection. You did all you could, and I found myself at losses...you had all the answers. I always wondered how easily you did things, because sometimes, I struggled with it more than I spoke about. This is one of those times.

I find myself at odds, but then, I realize, she has already lived that part of her life.

How she came to be, it doesn't matter. Even if I tell her, it will not change. She's like you, and she will acknowledge that simple truth. It is because of that, of the type of woman she is, that I do plan to tell her. I feel that she has a right to know who her real father was. If it hadn't been for him, I doubt you would have gotten pregnant in your entire life, and if that were the case, I would not be as blessed as I am now.

In that way, I guess I should deeply thank you yet again, for looking after me vicariously, purely by the choices...no...by the path you followed.

…  
(Present day)

"She was always stubborn, you see." Shizuru said, though she knew Naru was well aware of that fact. "She gave birth to you not far from the house, she flat out insisted that it be in the woods, and she nearly didn't let me follow her either." Shizuru said then, recalling that particular discussion. "That's how stubborn your Papa was, when she wanted to be."

"I was born out here, really?" Naru never really dug into her past, but the idea was one that astounded her. "Without an epidural, what was she, crazy?"

"No, she was merely your Papa, doing things as only she knew how." Shizuru sighed, though with a smile on her face. "Naru, I've been meaning to speak with you, about that." Shizuru began thinking about such tribulation that those times brought, it was seemingly endless back then. "Natsuki was always careful about how to handle you. She...well, she didn't really want you to know about your father, and who he was." Shizuru could feel her eyes darken. Oh how she loathed that man for what he did. "You've always wanted to know though, and I feel I would be doing you a great injustice, if I didn't answer your questions." Still, she'd been putting it off for her own reasons.

"He was your cousin, was he not?" Naru had always heard the lingering whispers in the family, things left unsaid, but she wasn't completely dense. "Everyone used to point at me, and I grew up wondering why everyone was so ashamed by it. So, in answer to your question, yes. I would like to know about everything. Really, it would be most important if you did."

"Indeed." Shizuru nodded, though she hadn't any idea where to begin. "Natsuki cleaned up well, when she would allow me to help her. The day she was to meet Reito, I washed her hair and brushed it out for her, although that was quite the trial. Then, I picked out one of my old outfits, and I fixed it up a bit in order for her to wear it. I even went out and found a bra and panties that she could wear. I wanted her to fit in, at least some of the way. I just hadn't any idea that my cousin was that type of man."

"What type of man, mother?" Naru has guessed the worst, but Shizuru simply shook her head.

"He liked her." Shizuru began, trying her best to keep the fury out of her voice. "The men had mistresses back then, it wasn't uncommon, however I thought he was completely and utterly devoted to his wife. It never occurred to me that he would try to have her on the side. If I thought that, I would have kept Natsuki well away from him."

Naru winced at that. "I thought Papa was gay."

"More like she didn't have a preference." Although that was only a small part of it. "In wolf families, it isn't uncommon for male wolves to have sex with unclaimed females. Natsuki didn't have a mate, and when he put the moves on her, she didn't stop him." Shizuru sighed then. "It had been going on for weeks before I caught him."

"But he had to have known that she was so...different..." Naru struggled to find the right word, finding none. "He should have known that she wouldn't have..." Naru shook her head, deeply confused.

"Natsuki was very much an attractive woman." Shizuru told Naru, though her eyes betrayed her voice, one that seemed calm. "He thought her to be a beggar I'd picked up. It would not have been out of the norm, I assume. I did indeed try to pluck her from the forest, and I suppose that isn't too far removed. She was uncouth, brash, in many ways, however, my cousin delighted in that, as did I. I wanted her to meet other humans, and I thought he would be a safe choice. Besides that, I was still in denial. I didn't want to think that she had feelings for me. It would have been so..." Shizuru didn't want to say it, but she knew well enough what it would have been. "Wrong."

"So, he really was my father, then?" Naru asked slowly, feeling her gut sink as Shizuru nodded slowly.

"It wasn't as if he just pounced on her, it is just a tiny bit more complicated than that." Shizuru finally said, trying to make peace with the memory. "He only kissed her, at first. It made me quite upset that day, and I thought I'd corrected his manners, considering what he and I spoke of."

…  
(Past)

"Damn it Reito!" Shizuru shouted through the house. "What am I supposed to tell Mai!"

"Nothing." He said easily, as he put his tie back on. "Natsuki and I were simply having a visit."

"You were necking her in the hallway, Reito." Shizuru told him, her anger tenfold. "That isn't simply a visit." Then, she looked over to the window, where Natsuki was currently outside. "Please tell me you didn't sleep with her."

"I didn't sleep with her." He shrugged, looking at the furious woman in front of him. "I was merely extending pleasantries, nothing more."

"I don't believe you." Shizuru seethed out.

"I didn't sleep with her, Shizuru." Reito said firmly. "However, if I did, there's nothing you can do. I'm entitled to my guilty pleasures as much as any other man in this family, and you damn well know that."

Shizuru didn't delay her hand as it slapped across his face. "She's a child you pervert!" Natsuki really wasn't all that old in the grand scheme of things, even if she was very wise. "You aren't going to get away with using her as some simple concubine!"

"Well aren't you just full of piss and vinegar." Reito chuckled as he let his hand ruffle Shizuru's hair on her head. "I told you, I didn't sleep with her. I didn't have any sex, so you can calm down, alright?" His voice was cool and calm. "She is very pretty, Shizuru, but I have Mai for that. Even so, a man can stray every now and then, now can't he?"

"Mai would be devastated to hear that you were kissing another woman." Shizuru protested softly. Mai wasn't her issue, but it was an easy alibi. She clutched at it, even though she knew Reito's knowing eyes were giving her scrutiny that would see through the well constructed lie. "She's so utterly devoted to you. It would cause her a great deal of pain, so please, don't do it anymore." Even so, Shizuru didn't halt her words. "Don't cause pain for those you love."

"Alright..." He said softly, leading his younger cousin into the large, elegantly furnished living room, where a roaring fire kept the room warm. "What's the matter, Shizuru? What's eating at you so terribly bad?" He forced her to sit down on one of the sofas and ordered a maid to prepare some of Shizuru favorite type of tea. Then, he went about hiding the cigar box back atop of the nook that her father kept his reading on, knowing she disliked smoking, or anything related to the act. He then returned to her side, regarding her gently, his palm on her shoulder. "You can tell me, I know you're troubled."

Ruby eyes that shimmered with unknown disgust glared at the window. She didn't know why she was so upset, but she knew that it wasn't merely due to Reito's whims. "Natsuki...she just confuses me so much sometimes." There was something about them kissing that irked her, but even more than that, a truth was kept hidden under the surface of those long jeans Natsuki had been wearing. She'd faced much stronger foes than Reito before, of that, Shizuru was sure. "Natsuki could have beaten you into a bloody pulp, if she hadn't wanted that kiss."

"Perhaps she did, Shizuru. If she longed for such a thing, I'm happy to have given her happiness." Reito shrugged, he didn't know offhand, but he hadn't been met with resistance either. It was at least possible. Likely, even probable. "However, that isn't any concern of yours, now is it?"

"I've wanted that for so long, Reito." Shizuru finally confessed in exasperation, letting her eyes be hidden as she looked away. "I've wanted her to gaze into my eyes, and just..." Shizuru ran a hand through her hair and licked her lips. "It's such a perverse thing really. Why should I want that, with another woman no less. It's simply wrong, and even if I did want her, in such a despicable fashion, it would be absolutely rude, crude, and everything in between!" Thought she couldn't really get the idea out of her mind, not since that day they shared a swim. "This is so not what father will want to hear, that I've fallen in love with someone who hasn't any status, or claim...hell, might as well throw the cherry on top, she is a woman of all things. A woman, Reito...father will be so angry."

"He will marry you off, as he sees fit." Reito said softly, there wasn't any denying the truth. "The fact that you may have an interest in the fairer gender, or that you might possibly love that girl, none of it will matter after you're married properly. This is simply how life goes for us, I'm afraid. Why do you think we men seek out comfort. Many times, the woman chosen can't fulfill our needs."

"Natsuki can't either." Shizuru told him, almost in warning.

"I will not speak of this to your father." Reito said then, a kindness in his eyes. "Still, though, I warn you. Don't get attached to her, it'll only end in pain for you." He however, he could do as he pleased, and intended on it. "I will continue to see Natsuki at my whim. She is a wonderful young woman, and besides that, if there is something she wants, and I can give her such happiness, what could possibility be wrong with the indulgence?" Now that indeed was the question Shizuru struggled with, knowing what it was Natsuki really wanted.

How could she compete with that?

…  
(Present Day)

"I couldn't." Shizuru said softly, looking at her daughter. "I knew what your Papa wanted, more than anything, and let's be honest...when she wanted something, she got it come hell or high water." She'd been so worried about her sexual preference back then. "There would be no way I could give her a child. I knew it, and I also knew she wished for that. I didn't stop her from seeing Reito, though I doubt at the time she thought he was actually going to have sex with her."

"And why not? That would have been my first conclusion." Naru said, crossing her arms. "She really wanted him that badly?"

"No, it was nothing of that particular sort." Shizuru said as she stood up from her rock that had been her perch. "Her eyes were so innocent, and she found safety in the fact that he wasn't after me. I assume she just let down her guard around him. He was a male, so she accepted his advances, as would be expected."

"I wish I could have met him." Naru said softly, with a deject sigh. "It's always bothered me, that I never knew who my father was."

"Your Papa kept you away from a lot of things Naru, for your own protection. Reito would have seen you as a burden, and he had Mai, with whom he could have as many beautiful children as he wanted. She only had you, Naru...you were her only daughter, and she stopped at nothing to protect you." Despite everything, Natsuki had unwaveringly cared for her daughter.

That's what had given Shizuru the most comfort, when non other would be found...


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey all! Long time, no post on this fiction...I just didn't have any chapters prepared...this fiction is incredibly slow going. Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter...

* * *

**Chapter 7  
**(Shizuru POV)

I don't know why you seemed so submissive...well, no that isn't quite the word, now is it? No, I would assume that you were more tolerant than anything. I firmly suspect, that if he had done anything to your displeasure, anything you deemed highly uncalled for, that you would have claimed such a fact, making him suffer greatly. Still, Natsuki, it hurt when I would see him making advances upon you, making his intentions clear. I wish I could have been stronger then. If I had been, perhaps you wouldn't have thought to be so drawn to Reito. After all, I was the one who unsure...you never were, Natsuki.

Everything you did, you did it with freedom.

The winter was harsh, and sometimes, you'd go missing. I'd see the footprints in the snow, and think to myself, that you were happy being the person that you were. There were times that winter, that I'd actually convinced you to come inside, and partake of a warm drink. Winter was the only time you'd ever step foot in this house, don't think that I forgot about that. In fact Natsuki, I loved winter all the more, because of that. That was a double edged sword.

You'd get closer to Reito when he was around, and that never sat well with me. Still, I always felt as if I couldn't compete.

You know, Natsuki, in all this time, I think I was a little foolish back then. My heart was that of a maiden awaiting some sort of false hope. Reito didn't see you as anyone important, but I saw you as someone who was truly my friend. I wanted to give you some measure of warmth. I wanted, ironically,to be a person that was really important to you. I'd never fallen in love before, so, I'm sorry that I stumbled along, unsure...and afraid about what it might mean.

Thank you, Natsuki. For giving me some of the warmest winters that I'd ever know. Even now, your memory warms my heart...it keeps the frost at bay...and calls spring time, like a melody. So, even when I watch the pack leave this house behind, once again, I don't feel despair. Though, Natsuki...I miss you...and I love you. I hope, wherever you are, and whatever deity you stand beside, will allow these feelings to reach you. They are only yours to hold, after all...and I hope, you can read my heart...and perhaps see the things that try though I might, I struggled to confess.

…  
(Past)

"I hate cold." Natsuki grumbled as she shook her head back and forth violently, trying to rid it of the snow. "And snow...snow is bad."

"Well, it can't be all that bad." Shizuru said then, she had been dressed warmly, unlike her companion. "Tala enjoys it." They had been playing recently, something a bit of a novelty. Romping around was not something Shizuru was used to doing, but, it had been quite fun.

"Likes the fire better." Natsuki smiled softly, as Tala rested near the fireplace. She was the only wolf who trusted Shizuru enough to actually enter the house. "So do I." Natsuki chuckled, she was indeed quite cold.

"It wouldn't be so bad, if you'd actually dress warmly." The furs covered little for the winter, and it was quite amusing to always see Natsuki shivering, only because she refused the warmth of a proper jacket. "Humans were made to wear clothes, not fur."

"I like fur." Natsuki said then, plainly. "It makes me one of them."

Shizuru smiled, as she shook her head. "Forever a mystery, Natsuki, really." Her tone was only chiding Natsuki a little, but, a genuine happiness lingered there. "Though, I must say, it is beautiful out there...isn't it?"

"Yeah..." Natsuki noticed in recent days, that Reito was no where to be found. He didn't come around anymore, and that bothered her. She would wait for him often, but she'd often find herself falling asleep near the tree, Reito never to be found. "Shizuru..." Natsuki voice was a soft wane, and she merely sighed at the look she received. "Why don't you like Reito?"

"It's not that I don't like him, Natsuki." He was her cousin after all. "He means well, as far as I go...but as for you, his intentions aren't always good." In fact, Shizuru hated when Reito would make a pass at Natsuki, it drove her crazy. "I told him not to come around here anymore. I just want you to stay away from him, it'll be safer for you."

Natsuki shook her head. "Not good enough." She sprawled herself out on the carpet, resting her head on Tala's back. "Reito is a strong leader." Natsuki saw him as that anyway, even for a nobleman. "He would make strong cubs." It might have been spoken offhandedly, but it cut Shizuru to the core.

"Yes...he would indeed." Shizuru sighed then, as she brought the warm mugs of tea over to the floor, where Natsuki preferred to sit. "However, he already has a mate."

"Doesn't matter." Natsuki replied then, sitting up, and frowning just a little. "Wolves mate for life...but, there are times they will stray away from their mates." In the months, Natsuki had become more fluent in her speech, and in her actions. She'd begun to learn small things about the human world, things that astounded her. "I like Reito, he's like Rand." Though, when Natsuki laughed at that, it was lost on Shizuru. "If I smack him, he'll learn."

"That's just so wrong, Natsuki. That's called adultery, and it's a horrible thing." Shizuru felt sickened, trying to explain to Natsuki such a thing. "How would you feel, if someone you loved started doing that behind your back? The things Reito does, it just isn't right."

"That's for him to pick." Natsuki scratched her head, also sipping the tea, albeit a bit awkwardly. "He's strong, it wouldn't be right to tell him not to do things..." Though, she knew Shizuru would never understand her point of view. "Anyone would want him to father strong offspring...my cubs would have strong blood with him. That's more important than you realize."

"Natsuki, that's all well and good, but that's too simpleminded." Shizuru smiled then, often forgetting just how unorthodox Natsuki could be.

"You're world is just too hard." Natsuki said back. "I don't have these troubles, when I'm with the wolves." Natsuki looked at Tala, the one wolf she admired most. Natsuki idolized her so very much. "Every start of spring, and every fall before winter, the wolves mate and have cubs...I want my own, Shizuru. Reito will give me that...and you promised me, you'd help me to become happy."

"You can't have both worlds, Natsuki." Shizuru replied then. "You simply can't. There are laws, even in nature, that prevent it."

"Hmm." Natsuki wouldn't agree to that as she stood up, seeing Tala go to the door. "It's time for the hunt." Faintly, she could hear the call of the wolves. "I will be back, tomorrow at sunrise."

"Stay in tonight, Natsuki." Shizuru was almost begging, still, Natsuki only shook her head.

"We have to hunt." Natsuki said softly, a little smile on her face. The sounds of their calls made her so happy. "Tala needs to feed her cubs soon too." As soon as she opened the door, Tala was off like a rocket, running to the calls, but Natsuki lingered for a moment. "Shizuru...my path brings me here, a lot." She didn't know why, but those crimson orbs always seemed to call to her. "But, I do not have a reason to stay...if I did, maybe, I would...maybe." And with that, Natsuki ran, her feet carrying her with speed to the call of her family.

…  
(Present)

"Papa was always so free spirited." Naru grumbled then, a bit agitated at that little detail. "Sometimes, I really hated her for that." Duran who acted more like a dog than a wolf, came to sit at Naru's side. Idly she pet him, though her eyes were on her aging mother. "Why couldn't she just act like a normal person?"

"She tried, I'm sure." Shizuru said then, a small condolence at best. "However, you know as well as I do, she was stubborn about wearing her furs all of the time. She was the same way about living in the house all year round. It didn't suit her, as I wished it would have." That was often a fight between them. "Loving your Papa was very difficult on me sometimes, but, that's simply the way it was."

"I would have lost my temper, if I would have been you." Naru grumbled, thankful that her husband was generally mild mannered.

"From day one, I knew nothing would be normal. Even if I just wanted to befriend her, I knew it would be difficult. I wanted something more." It was something Shizuru merely had to accept early on. "I was the one who wanted to be in a relationship with someone such as her. You can blame her all you might like, Naru. However, that was something I wanted as well, her difficulties aside."

"You say that, and yet, she got close enough to somebody else. Then she get knocked up." Naru was bitter about that the most. "You know, I always thought that Papa just had some strange reason for avoiding the cities." In her earliest memories, Naru could recall the sprawling forests that Natsuki knew so well, and, when she was little, she was unlike other small children. "I never thought that she would just..." Naru just sighed. "It's deplorable, really."

"I only wish I had the courage to tell her how I felt back then." Shizuru shook her head. "Against my better wishes, she did end up having intercourse with Reito, and it hurt, but I wasn't angry at your Papa." No, inwardly, Shizuru blamed herself. "Naru...this is hard for me to admit, but, at first, I scorned the very idea that Natsuki may have possibly gotten pregnant. She was always around in the winter time, and, Reito wouldn't stay away. I didn't have the heart to tell Mai either, because she wouldn't have been able to be rid of him anyway. I wanted Mai to be happy, and not be hurt by him...even if she did suspect something."

"Papa...she didn't regret it then?" Naru had always wondered that, in the back of her mind. "You both had to have been ashamed of me...out of wedlock, and by a man who couldn't even show love to his own wife. Papa was nothing more than a street rat, when you think about it. My very conception must have been horrid."

"No, it would never cross her mind to think that way." Shizuru nearly found herself outraged at that. "Your Papa loved you more than anything in this world, and when she finally put the hints together, that she was pregnant, I was the one that hated the idea." Shizuru brushed away the strands of deep tresses that framed her daughter's face. "I was the one that was angry, but only at Reito, and at myself." No, she could never begrudge Natsuki. "I wanted her to be happy, more than anything...even if I knew that she'd have to be with a man to do it." She couldn't hate Natsuki, not for her own unspoken sins.

"Why didn't you just tell her how you really felt?" It would have saved a lot of trouble, Naru could tell that. "She would have been loyal to you then, wouldn't she?"

"I wanted to say it, many times in fact, but I feared as if Natsuki only truly wanted me as a friend." Shizuru smiled, a bit annoyed at herself, even all of these years later. "I didn't know what she would think, Natsuki always gave me these mixed signs. I often felt lost, and Naru, I tried to deny it. If I hadn't denied my feelings, if I had been more receptive to the kindness I did receive, I'm sure Natsuki would have understood me clearly." Though, when she could hear the wolves in the distance, she could fondly remember Natsuki's calls, even if she was no longer around to make them. "Natsuki was always loyal to me, though, never doubt that, Naru. Her misunderstandings were my fault, not hers."

"It doesn't take the pain away." Naru said then, wishing, for not the first time in her adult life, that she could go back through the paths she vaguely remembered. "Those days are just shadows of the past now." Even so, she wanted to see the same sights Natsuki had always taken her to see. "Even if you say they aren't her fault, and you defend her, I can't help but feel as if...as if the one person who should still be here...she isn't." Naru sighed, wishing that Duran wasn't the only one left from the days when Natsuki was alive and well. "I hate her, for that."

Shizuru looked beyond the trees, where the newly born wolf cubs were playing as the adults gathered together. "Funny...I loved her for that very reason." Perhaps it was because there was a spectacular sight to behold, and the gift was fleeting, just like the joys of youth. "I don't expect you to understand this, Naru, but your Papa, she was really a special person."

"I know that she was." That was why Naru hated her so much. "It would be easier, if I could just forget about her...but if I did that, it would make my life..."

…  
(Shizuru POV)

Incomplete...

That's what it would feel like. Naru and I know that to be true.

Even now, I am not fully whole. I doubt I ever will be again. My soul was only fulfilled when you were at my side, Natsuki. That winter, when the snow littered the ground, I wish I could have protected you better. I wish I would have kept you under my wing, and in my arms. I wanted to be the one, to show you the true meaning of love. I felt as if Reito couldn't do that. However, I did have to abide by him...least he utter words to my father that I didn't want him to say.

At least, by keeping quiet, you got the gift you wanted most...I just...I wish I could have been enough. I'm sorry for every failure on my part, even if you refused to see anything such as that.

You were easy going Natsuki, always so care free, I wanted to be like that.

It was a treasure I could always see in your eyes. The way you smiled at me, it wasn't the same smile that you gave Reito. Yours for him, it wasn't completely real, as if, you were wavering. I could see that...I think, that's why I blame myself so much...because if I'd had the courage to tell you, then you would have been mine from the beginning.

Would you think poorly of me, if I told you I think about that lot?

Sometimes that keeps me up at night...don't get me wrong though...Naru is a blessing...a very, very large blessing to me. She is the part of you that's still here...the part that keeps be going when nothing else can. So...despite the misfortune...I'm glad you slept with Reito...even if back then, it upset me a lot.

I guess we were both caught up in our own personal agenda.

I know keeping an air of mystery, was something that you didn't really see any point in. You used to tell me I was straining myself, and, I know I was. It's just, one of those silly little things, really. I'm sure you remember, I used to say women did it all the time. You'd always scoff at me, sometimes you'd even laugh just a little bit, but Natsuki, I felt drawn to you. Each new day, when I let my heart beat just a little faster, I realized it wasn't something I should feel. That in the end Natsuki, you would have been better off, if you could love Reito...he could give you so many things, so I didn't say anything.

That's why it's my fault...even if Naru can't accept that...I have...it's my burden. Still, winter was beautiful, just as you were.

You normally didn't leave the den area much, when snow littered the ground. You hated being away from your fire. Sometimes though, I could coax you into the house for the warmth you sought, and that made me happy. You'd never let me cook for you, you always insisted on going on the hunts with the wolves...you came and went just like the whims of the winter chill. You remember when Naru was little, and we used to fight about that?

I do...I remember...that even once we did start to make love...well, you remember that quite fondly, I'm sure...but you never actually settled down. I used to always wonder, if I was so bad at cooking that it was my fault. Then you even reject Mai's food, and I realized, you just had your own way to do things. I liked that the most.

I liked the way you were always so difficult about things, and that your stubborn streak knew no bounds. I remember when I first realized that, it was the first night I'd spent with you, in your home. I can remember how terrified I was back then, about that mere idea...but now Natsuki, I want nothing more than to see you hold out your hand, and take me back into the woods. It was a time that both frightened me, and warmed my heart, so thank you, Natsuki.

That night was the highlight of my winter after all...it was when I realized that I truly did love you...and that, I wanted you to be mine regardless of how wrong that may have been. I was willing to damn the consequences, because you were so free spirited.

…

Shizuru was always so curious, Natsuki learned much to her dismay.

She supposed things that were normally unimportant, were things that would astound Shizuru the most. It wasn't that Natsuki took the beauty for granted. Far from it, in fact. However, there was only so much time you could spend admiring a bird, before thinking about how many ways to cook it. The foliage and the smaller animals were her food, after all, and though she could think it beautiful all the time, it wouldn't change that fact.

So, like most other creatures of the forest, she didn't bother to take notice of the way the birds sang, or the way the small creatures tried to avoid her gaze.

The creatures knew what she was, a huntress, and her scent called of the dangers she could deploy. Wolves didn't hunt small creatures often, but she did, if she found herself to be hungry. She knew the subtle ways of a tracker, and unlike Shizuru's flitting around, not exactly calculating in the manner of her steps, or the way a hint would be sitting idly by near the stump of a tree, Natsuki was pondering her next meal.

It was however, a failing endeavor.

It wasn't very often that she took Shizuru with her when she scouted the area, in fact, she hardly allowed it at all. Today she was feeling quite lonely and wanted the company. So, while she walked side by side with the woman of fawn tresses, in search of an easy meal, at least inwardly, should couldn't help but enjoy Shizuru's smile as well. It came as not exactly a shock, but quite a letdown, when cold winds became stronger, telling of the snow that was going to be headed their way.

"Come on, I know a warm place." Natsuki grumbled, trudging through the thicket at a fast pace. She hated the white stuff, and not that it got particularly deep, but there wasn't any place to go in any storm. The trees provided cover from the winds, but not the frost.

"My house is back in the other direction, Natsuki." Shizuru sighed, quite unsure why she was being pulled further away from the warmth of her home, knowing the storm was coming. "If we want to stay warm, we should go back to my house, where we can be safe."

"No time." Natsuki said then, her eyes glancing up to the sky. "Nightfall isn't far away. Your home is near by, but my home is closer." Shizuru wasn't quite sure what to think about that, as she was dragged near the den of the wolves. Dirt mounds had been dug, and the holes could get quite deep, but Natsuki's own hole was quite the oddity. A mix of things made for her a rather roomy structure, and a fire just off to the side kept the snow at bay, and the area at least a little less chilly. "Stay with me...you will be warm."

"Natsuki, I really should just go home." Shizuru shivered then, more afraid of camping outside in the wilderness. The clouds were covering the sky, and she mentally cursed herself for not listening to the weather forecast that morning. "I'm unlike you, I can't survive well out here." The snow was already starting to fall, and Shizuru knew the storm would be a bad one.

"It won't be deep." Natsuki said then softly as she turned to face Shizuru. Her cold fingertips brushed the cloth on Shizuru's gloved hand. "But, the snow will make it hard to see." There would be no clear visibility. "We could get lost, and that would be bad. Stay with me, and the pack. We will protect you." Natsuki was also unhappy about the sudden change in weather. She could tell that the snow was going to be more of an annoyance, but not any real danger. The sky told her so easily, and she knew what to look for. "Come..."

Shizuru didn't have much of a choice, and so, she let herself be pulled away, towards the safety of the den. The pack had already settled in, not in the least bit worried about the weather. The cubs romped around playfully under the watchful eyes of the adults. Some napped, and others were bonding with their leader. Raul's eyes fell upon Shizuru, and he watched her for several long minuets, knowing well of her scent, but not being nearly as friendly as Tala who had nuzzled her immediately. The pack was always weary of Shizuru, but never of Natsuki, even when she picked up the sharpened stick she used as a weapon for pray.

Natsuki looked around, no fresh kill in sight, and that bothered her.

"Stay here, with Tala." Natsuki said as she covered Shizuru in a large, clean pelt of fur. "I want something." Natsuki voice seemed pleading, she knew she couldn't take the woman with her any further. Shizuru seemed to notice that as well, and nodded slowly. She could trust the pack enough to stay with them, and the fire was nice a warm. "Rand..." She called, trying to find the largest of the wolves that she could trust, and he picked up his head as she whimpered at him. All it took, was a few foot falls before he got up to join her, off on a hunt, their target not so far away.

"Natsuki, you be careful." Shizuru scolded her, as Natsuki began to twirl the shark pointy stick. "Don't go off getting hurt."

"Don't spook the rabbit." Natsuki replied back not far away at all, in fact, she was only behind a few trees, and could still hear Shizuru clearly. She lifted her speed, hoping that her aim would be on the mark, but, like most times, she missed, sending the critter bounding away, Rand and Natsuki in tow. A few of the younger pack members, who thought it to be a game, followed in the chase, but in the end it was Raul who's caught wind of what was going on, rushing ahead of the fray.

It was at that, when Natsuki gave up, slowly making her way back to the stick she'd thrown. After that, she shook her head, watching as a few wolves were arguing in the distance, Raul's snarls, some of the loudest. "I lost the food."

"When you take me home, I'll cook for you. I promise it'll be something tasty." Shizuru said as she leaned into Natsuki's warmth. She followed emerald eyes to the glistening sky above, as the snowfall fell like glittering confetti. "I'm sure you'd like something really meaty, like a steak. I'm not a fan of them, but I do know how to cook one."

Natsuki shook her head. "I like to hunt." Then, as if something came to mind, she reached back behind her belongings, and pulled out a little glass bottle. "See?" She smiled as she shook the little container that was kept sealed with a cork.

"Sea salt?" Shizuru giggled then, a bit more at ease. "You can not survive on that alone." Still, as she leaned into Natsuki, feeling an arm wrap around her shoulder, she sighed happily. Tala came up to lay by their feet, and Shizuru felt at ease with that. "It's getting dark out."

"Night is fine." At that, Rand came by to rest at Natsuki's other side. As she pet his fur, scruffy, and untamed she couldn't help but try to count the stars she knew were in the sky. "It is cold, but truthful." She could see Shizuru's eyes glistening in the firelight, and smiled softly. "Stay...then, you can see night like I do."

"I want to see the entire world like you do." When Natsuki looked at her, a little startled, and a bit unsure, Shizuru smiled. "I don't want you to be with Reito anymore. I don't want you to be his." With nervous fingers, she clutched onto the soft furs that had collected crystals from the snowfall. "I want you to be with me, Natsuki."

"I am with you." Natsuki said then, as if the woman was saying silly things again.

"No, Natsuki...not like this. I want..." Shizuru sighed, trying to think of a way to make Natsuki understand, without a shadow of a doubt. "I want you to be mine."

"Yours?" Natsuki paused, looking into those shimmering crimson eyes. "Your..." Natsuki's face flushed, and she turned away. "Your mate..." Once the words hit home, Natsuki seemed to freeze up.

"That's right..." The word came out softly, with unmistakable possession. "I want you to be mine."

"If...if you want that." As if thinking of what someone might do, and taking the things she'd learned from being with Reito, she cupped Shizuru's face with one of her palms, and placed her lips over Shizuru's. They were cold, but her baited breath was warm, and Natsuki sighed into the kiss. When she pulled away, almost confused, she scowled a bit, tasting the balm that had been Shizuru's lips. "My mate...mine." Natsuki was unsure if that was a fitting statement, but didn't amend it as she pulled Shizuru closer to her, trying to keep the woman away from the chill in the air. It simply felt right to do so.


End file.
